Baby….It’s cold outside!
It’s so cold outside I swear my nipples will shatter at the slightest touch. Breaking into little shards of ice, I could use them to chill my drink – “Nipple cubes”. Harder than diamonds. I can cut through glass quicker than Batman can say Robin.
“Dog locked in a car? Let me pierce that window for you.”
“Bag won’t open? I’ll just use my nipples to cut it.”
“Tomato on your sandwich? I’ll slice that shit up.”
Better yet, I’ll just replace my diamonds.
“Hey check out my new ring.”
“Oh my goodness! Those nipples are gorgeous. Are they real?”
“Yes! I went to Jared’s and it’s below fucking zero there.”
I guess this would be my ‘nipple’ ring. That’s the new meaning. All in favor? Change Approved.
So this got me thinking. On the ‘Nipple Scale’ from inverted because it’s hot as hell to I wear them like jewelry.
How cold are you?
Stay warm people. I’m off to sweep up my nipple dust.
“Type hard! Like you mean it.”
Your Mother Is A Dirty Girl 
You could run a very successful deli with sandwich making methods like that. People would come from all around.
You might be onto to something. lol
Bahahaaaa! As always, you had me laughing at loud. I’ll be taking my own nipple cubes to Fargo, ND next week. Highs expected to be -15. Thanks for your helpful hints on alternative uses–I may need to break into a locked car.
Sometimes I wonder where I come up with this stuff. Glad you like it. Stay warm!! lol