poetry “Why Guys Should Watch Porn Alone”

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There’s a reason that us women
Probably shouldn’t watch porn
Judgmental little bitches
That is how we were born

While your kissing me along my neck
This is what I think
This isn’t Hi-Def
And the quality fucking stinks

What’s that thing on her ass?
A pimple, or a mole?
What’s that guy doing?
That’s the wrong hole!

And look at those boobs
Clearly, they are fake
Does she do this for the money?
How much can she make?

Look at all that make up
Running down her face
Even in her corset
There’s a hole in the lace

Don’t get me started
On the leading man
You can see the streaks
In his fake orange tan

He has way too much hair
And not just on his chest
Can’t believe she screaming
“You’re the best, you’re the best”

Before you ask your girlfriend
To go along with the flow
Consult with your hand
And star in your own show

The last thing to know
To fluff before the deed
The best kind of porn for us
Is the kind we read

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