poetry “Not a Poet, I know it ~ Limerick Stew”


Decided to write a Limerick

The words I chose were a little sick

I tried to stay clean

But got too obscene

I gave up and said…the heck with it!

Or perhaps a new Send-Jew-Rue

Or maybe a simple Hi-Coo

But aren’t they the same?

Just two different names?

To whatever you say… screw you!

Have opted to go Free Verse

Stumbled and started to curse

Going to slow

Words didn’t flow

Better off left to rehearse

Much nicer to call it a Prose

Like the sweet, sweet scent of a rose

But that crap was stinking

The heck was I thinking

I’d much rather pierce my nose

I throw out some words that might rhyme

But I never put in the time

Fill them with fluff

Never real stuff

True poets must find this a crime

Call it whatever you want

I have no talent to flaunt

But I typed up this poem

From a seat in my home

And added a stupid font

Sometimes I need a good slap

Instead you stand and you clap

But what can I say

You’ve brightened my day

Thank you for reading my crap

poetry “The Dachshund and The Sphynx ~ A Bedtime Story ~”


Now settle down boys

And hop up on the bed

A new bedtime story

It’s one I haven’t read

Calm down

Calm down

It’s one you’ll like, I think

It’s a story about friendship

called The Dachshund and The Sphynx

The Dachshund could remember

The day that they had met

Surprised that little kitty

Had never once been pet

He saw that she was hiding

And called her out to play

“Here kitty kitty”

Here kitty kitty

Please don’t be afraid”

A new friend, she thought

So she began to purr

But little puppy couldn’t believe

This kitty had no fur

Little puppy wondered

What happened to her clothes

And when he went to greet her

She kissed his big round nose

Little puppy asked her

“Do you have a name?”

But little kitty didn’t

She felt a bit ashamed

So puppy tried to cheer her up

and said, “how bout a game?”

Puppy knew that she was shy

And a little meek

But boy, oh boy

How her ears perked

While playing hide and seek

The puppy was a frisky boy

He barked and acted tough

Poking poor little kitty

He liked to play so rough

But as their friendship grew and grew

The longer they would play

They’d meet up in the barn at night

And frolic in the hay

One day while both were playing

And wrestling all about

Little kitty kicked her bowl

And made the milk spill out

“Naughty kitty!

Naughty kitty!”

Little puppy growled

Little kitty

Showed her claws

“Meow meow meow”

Little puppy liked the sound

Of little kitty’s mew

So he kicked his paw real hard

And emptied his bowl too

Now Willy dog the Dachshund

Had a gift for kitty Sphynx

So like his favorite flower

He named her Petal Pink

The two became inseparable

Joined just at the hip

Promised when each bowl was full

They’d always share a sip

Now Storytime is over boys

Let me tuck you in real tight

Since you’ve been so good for me

Your kitty can spend the night

Remember boys, like any kitty

with or without fur

Pet her hard and pet her good

To make her purr, purr, purr

poetry “-Deep- Thoughts”


deep thoughts

My imagination and I

We are pretty close friends

His naughty ink flows through my pen


Dirty thoughts he feeds my mind

Pushing them

Thrusting them

Deep inside


Creative juices start to flow

Encouraging to suck

and slowly blow

The smoke that forms with spinning gears

To savor


and taste my fears


He leaves no option to play fair

He can be cruel

but I don’t care


He makes me laugh

at disgusting jokes

It causes me to gag and choke


I hear him at the back of my head

He makes me blush ten shades of red


On my tongue

just at the tip

The words he laid

begin to drip


Always around

He’s here to stay

I love it when he comes to play


poetry “Worthless, Man Made”


Can you still see me?

The inner beauty you claimed once to admire

Just beyond the exterior shell you desire

Past the soul that lingers amongst the pile of lies



Ready to die

What do you see?

Some novel toy to play with at whim

“You’re such a bitch! are you flirting with him?”

An x-rated version of a person I once knew



Words commonly spewed

Just something for your viewing pleasure

A woman, I question, you ever did treasure

Your whore to use on any given day

“Worthless!” the word you choose to say




“Fucking obey!”

Your one and only success

You made me this way

poetry “Poker Peepshow”

poker peepshow

The private dancing, backroom type of club


Dirty martini, two olives, straight up


A game of poker, some sleight of hand


Room filled with liars and cheaters


A full house


Suits and ties with acquired taste


Scantily clad and Chantilly lace


A Gentlemen’s club with none to spare


Open box of Gurkha Black Dragons


The stench filling the air


The stakes are high


Heated testosterone rush


Hungarian skin for all to touch


Arousing both curious peaks


With deuces in hand


Straddling bets before you see


A ballsy wager


Holding bottom pair


A vision of ecstasy


Bending on knees


Four of a kind




A game of heads-up


Placing the blind


No limping in with this hand in play


I call


You raise


Alluring and tempting to go all in


Stack my chips


The house takes its rake


First the flop


Anticipate the turn


Down the wet river you go


If you have to leave on the bubble


What better way to end the series


Than to have the release


That’s worth at least double

Boob names

Rambling about boob names, that’s all this is.  It’s either this or nothing, and I felt like writing something.- so there you go.

It’s really dumb.  You should move along and not waste your time.

Seriously- I fucking warned you.  This isn’t some trick with an exciting twist at the end.  Just random crap.


We have a ‘handful’ of names for boobs in my house.  We shared them (the names) with our girls, they laughed.  Yes, we are those parents, inappropriate.  Nothing wrong with a little humor and laughing with your kids.  Of course, we do caution them to not repeat half of the stuff they hear at home, it wouldn’t be received well by others and they would probably get taken from us by the state.  So here are a few of the names, nothing you haven’t heard before.



-the girls


-ant hills




-sand bags (from “The 40 Year Old Virgin”)

-chicken cutlets (I think that one is my favorite)

-ba-who-bees (that’s actually from their kid shows- I like that one)


If feels good to have gotten that off my chest.

Just wanted to keep you abreast of the situation here.

I’m not always funny, but you can stop reading too- so piss off. 

Plus I warned you that this was a shit post.

“Talk hard! Like you mean it!”


poetry “She and I”


I noticed her before I even ordered my drink

I was surprised to be attracted to a woman

Something new

It was food for thought

It made me stop and think

She wasn’t your typical image of a man’s fantasy

Not in my opinion at least

She was brunette, with dark eyes

An exotic dish

A tasty vision

Plated beautifully

Like a gourmet chef’s wish

However, she didn’t smell like cherry ChapStick

Like I had come to expect

If the word ‘crave’ had an aroma

It would be that she wore

Her scent had that kind of effect

There was something sexy as hell

About the way she dipped her finger in the glass

And rimmed the edge, making it wet

That when she asked, “have you ever been with a woman?”

Instead of saying no

I whispered, “not yet”

She had that look about her


Her eyes read, “tell me more”

It was a look that said she’d done this many, many times before

It was turning me on

Just the idea of it

At the notion

Her words were like smooth warm liqueur

And I was getting drunk

Off her witchcraft spun potion

There was a darkness in her eyes

It’s a little hard to describe

But it made me feel like whatever she was offering

I wanted to subscribe

Her hand moved over to my leg

Softly stroking beneath the hem of my dress

She had a dirty mouth and spoke words like, “I want you to beg”

This was new to me

And she was being a tease

Her grip was getting stronger

Grabbing at me

Letting up

Then offering a squeeze

When her arm came up to my back

She stroked the length of my hair

The touch sent shivers throughout my body

I could feel pleasurable chills just about everywhere

Her kiss came as a surprise

I admit, I was a little shocked

I could taste her drink on my mouth

My hesitation made her laugh

But I didn’t mind so much, being mocked

I was aroused more than I thought I could be

Her lips were full and sweet


Like delicious, juicy candy

She took my lip in her mouth when she came back around

Our tongues were licking and touching

A preview if you will

Of what I knew would go down

She was rough and used force

A woman that had no doubts

She was sure of herself and took what she wanted

I was too weak to resist

I wanted in

Not out

When we finally reached the hotel

She stripped me down bare

Not with the grace of a lady

Not delicate and sweet

But with a ferocious fury like fire burning without care

What a sexy sight before me when she took off her clothes

No hints of modesty or shyness

She didn’t hesitate once when she buried her nose

She was a woman


A giver

A giver in dreams

My deepest fantasy

Dark desire

Or so it seemed

I close my eyes each night

Hoping that one day she will return

It’s been a year since that dream

And my ache still burns

poetry “A Self Portrait of Me, Myself and I”


In the mirror, here is what I see

Pretty good looking girl looking back at me

Conceited? you might say, but I think not

But truth be told, I’m F-N’ hot!

Can’t stop laughing at the thought

Mouth typically open with foot caught

Pouty lips beneath Monroe dot

Chestnut hair, some black like night

A few plucked greys, and pulled out whites

Frown lines form at the unflattering sight

Long and soft with some loose curls

Hanging down, they reach the girls

Mix of hues and shades that swirl

Light brown eyes that capture the sun

Few crows feet but still look young

Heavy lids, yet I don’t look strung

Makeup always, it’s a must

Worn all day from dawn to dusk

Accentuating eyes that speak of trust

My nose is normal, about the right size

Seated centered beneath my eyes

It doesn’t grow, the truth, no lies

My mind is a house that’s always cluttered

Un-shut windows with open shutters

I try to stay focused but I live in the gutter

A smaller package at five foot two

Petite frame with good sized boobs

But still insecure, it’s sad but true

Overall I’m happy with the things I see

I never really stopped to just look at me

But I think I’m alright and my husband agrees

What’s in a word?

It’s hard to write erotic stories and poems when you have children.  Mostly because they seem to ruin certain words and phrases that you would typically use for erotic writings.  Some phrases I try not to say to my kids anymore, because when I do, I feel so wrong.

-You are such a naughty girl!

-Bad girl!

-Don’t be so fresh!

-Blow on it.

-Lick it clean.

-Want me to spank you?

-Why is that so hard?

-Give it to her!

-Pet the kitty.


-Let me kiss it.

-Does that feel good?

-Let me smell it

(no, I’m kidding about that last one,

you don’t want to ‘smell’ anything in erotica

unless it’s like candles or something good)


That’s just to name a few.


“Type hard! Like you mean it!”

poetry “Self-Serving”

self serve

Warm…..above duvet…..body so bare

Windows glass panes…..a heavy suns glare


Awoken from quite a delectable dream

Abruptly…..no warning…..sights unseen

A burning desire…..for release of steam


I gracefully sweep my hand

Across my rosey pink cheek

Open my eyes…..squinting

A brief moment…..a peek


Trailing my fingers along pouty full lips


Their manicured tips


Casting a sweet devilish grin


Familiar indulgence of sin


Drawing a path along my neck and collar

Like a lesson plan laid

Between Art teacher and scholar


My hands glide methodically to rising chest

Masculine visions of you

While caressing each breast


Slowly circling each petite peak

Kneading…..touching…..their round firm physique


A responsive demeanor

A touch…..just right

Pulling ever so softly

Till taut…..and tight


Falling downhill…..I travel…..head south

Quenching a thirst

Moistening…..ending the drought


Slowly skimming contours along my hips

In anticipation they rise

A standing ovation…..the perfect script


Like an architect’s sketch

Spine curved…..perfect arch

Legs…..bent at knee

As if ready to march


Signs of want…..unwavering

No urge to resist

Conscious desires

A pure ache exist


Light touches…..chill my inner thighs

Tingling sensations…..opening wide

Inviting myself…..to delve inside


Mind…..body…..thoughts align

Sinful images…..fluttering by

A Watchful eye…can be so divine


Matching…..a tempo

Keeping with pace

To the beat of my heart

From the expression on your face


Turned up lip…..from across the bed

Smiling…..you wink

Imploring to spread


Observing…..encouraging…..without a touch

to trace…..enter…..grab…..clutch


Directing me…..as if a Broadway play

I teasingly audition

No words to read…..or say


A private viewing

Your seat…..front row

Personal…..sensual…erotic show


Certainly not by luck…..or happenstance


Offering…..lovers dance


Rhythm…..faster…..pulsating beats

Biting down…..squeezing knees

Brought to edge…..clenching sheets

Gasping for oxygen

Lungs…..need of air

Intake of breath…..inhaling

None to spare


Holding…..reserving…..keeping it in

The finish line…..soon victory

Show…..place…..and win


Moist eyes…..a tear

Taking no more

A whimper escapes…..then a slight roar


Trembling…..sated…..a little frail

Remembering how good it is

To finally…..exhale

poetry “The Other Side of the Rainbow”


~The Other Side of the Rainbow ~

If you haven’t been there yet

Start planning now

The line goes out the goddamn door

Where dreams are a farce and hopes are shattered

No fucking puppy dogs allowed

And you can leave your optimistic

Lemon drop

Lollipop shit

At home

You just need to find a way

Around all the flowery fluff and flashy sights

Make your way up two flights

Where the drinks are served in dirty cups

And no one gives a flying fuck

Take off your rose colored glasses and open those eyes

The people here, don’t make you feel little

They make you feel nothing

Like a heavy weight

Sucking the air out of your lungs, kind of nothing

They won’t even notice you

I wear my vice proudly like a mane

Used to intimidate

Ready to pounce

And claw

Ready to eat

I don’t want your pity

I’m here to forget

Like some mindless bimbo

Shit for brains

Looking for a fix

You think you could bring me home?

I’m not looking for any tricks

I don’t need a miracle tonight

But it will take more than three pumps

To bring me

Where I want to go

Willing to make a trade?

Maybe slip into my ruby paradise

And take me for a walk around the block

Get me out of this bubble

Of delusion

Before I pop

Beyond the heavy drapes of my emotions

Let’s go a few miles and get lost

Down the golden path of self destruction

On the corner of ‘Gone’ and ‘No Turning Back’

With the brick against my back

Get your fingers skipping

My juices flowing

And don’t forget the armour

No time for doubt or second thoughts

No love

No heart

Just get me high

Off the ground

Like a drug

Fulfilling my opium dreams

I need to be spun

With your evil sinister ways

Where the heat of your penetrating touch

Will leave me in a puddle of regret

Never waking

From this coma I call life

poetry “Land of The Lost – Where the Gentlemen Live”


In a place long forgotten

Far, far away

Men are true

And live that way

The gentlemen there

Are born and bred

They admire your vision

But cherish your head

A land of respect

And values so high

Where morals have meaning

And ethics don’t die

It’s a place, that all men

Undoubtedly should explore

Where men are real men

And know to adore

Shaped and molded

From a different cast

Where promises are made

And made to last

Where doors are magically

Always held open

And words like “I love you”

Are easily spoken

They laugh at your jokes

They play and they tease

Make your heart patter

And weaken your knees

Where did I meet

My hubby you say?

He came from a place

Far, far away

poetry “Antagonize”









I may have been a bad, bad girl
Perhaps, some would say
Even provoked it
With all my chastising
Taunting and teasing
Challenging your smarts
Your wit
I know they were set
Set in stone
Like mortar
I defied the rules
Tossed them aside
Stomped on them
With my Louis Vuitton shoes
You so graciously bought for me
I acted out of line
Made you a fool
If I could make a suggestion or two
Perhaps for punishment
A good tongue lashing will do
Maybe sent to my knees
To pray for forgiveness
I have more than a mouthful to say
Stand me in the corner
In front of a mirror
So I can watch my reflection
Snickering at me
For the accomplishment
She achieved
A secret we keep
A switch across the cheek
Maybe a few more
Drive this lesson home
I haven’t paid for my sins
Not even close
Reprimand me
I deserve what you see fit
After all
I did ask for it
Begged for it
Longed for it
Want it
Need it
A pinch on the thigh
A pull of the braid
My actions were in fact
Heavily weighed
I’m not afraid
I will take what you give
Please give me more than I can take
I’ll take all of it
Yes, it’s wrong
To be so defiant
I know it
Accept it
I don’t want to be right
Don’t treat me fair
Be cruel
I’ll do what you please
Just please don’t stop
Punish me
So that I can learn
Learn from my mistakes
So I know
Know what it takes
To break your rules
To play you
Have you play me
I need to understand
So that next time
I get it right
Teach me again
To beg
To plead
To pick this fight