Someone gave me an award. That’s just crazy, what the hell did I do to deserve any kind of an award? I mean…..other than being awesome! And they just don’t make awards big enough for that yet. Nonetheless I was honored to see that an award was given to me when I logged into my blog. Thank you so much to Liam over at Queer and Confused in Cape Town for giving it to me, giving it to me good 😉 . I mean giving me the award of course. The Dragon’s Loyalty Award. You people need to get your mind out of the gutter.
After doing some research on this award, I realized that Liam gave me…..WORK! That’s right- work. WTF? Like I don’t have enough stuff to do, I have four kids and it takes hours to look this hot! Hehehe– I’m only joking, sorta. It doesn’t take hours to look this good, it’s no effort at all. I so wish that were true. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes…an award…….
I truly am honored Liam, really, really, really honored. I am very grateful to be part of the blogging community and to be welcomed by fellow bloggers. My site is still fairly new, so it’s nice to be recognized. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
So this award has some guidelines.
A. I have to mention the award, which I just did. Work!
B. Give thanks and acknowledge the wonderful soul that nominated me. Did that too. Small price to pay, but still work!
C. I have to come up with seven interesting facts about myself. Holy shit! Seven? That’s fucking work!
D. I need to mention 10 other bloggers that I think should get this award. Hopefully they see this as me offering praise, and not look at this as a homework assignment but rather an opportunity to share some insight about themselves. Make other people work!
This is starting to sound more and more like a chain letter, but I’m not going to be the one that breaks it. I have enough bad luck!
So here we go, 7 things about me that may or may not be that interesting. I keep the really juicy stuff to myself 😉 . Who am I kidding, I’m not that interesting and I really have no juicy stuff. Haha “juicy stuff.” Yes- I’m 12 at times. *hangs head in shame*
1. I have an obsession with stiletto boots, I want them all!!! I run after kids all day and they are not that practical to wear as much as I would like, but I love them. I own more than I will ever get around to wearing. When I am able to put a pair on, I own those bitches!
2. My mother actually knows every single one of my secrets, all of them. She knows about those times I did drugs, those times I had sex, that time I rode a donkey bareback wearing only a bikini while pinching my nipples and singing ‘I touch myself by Divinyls’—Oh wait- that was just a dream, but she knows about that too. I can go to her for everything and anything. My husband also knows everything about me, and the stuff he doesn’t know is just because I don’t remember, but I keep no secrets from him either. Like that time I peed the bed as an adult because I was dreaming about writing my name in the snow. I might have kept that a secret if he wasn’t there when it happened. There might be a few lies in here, maybe.
3. I have 5 tattoos and pretty much hate them all. This is what happens when you get tattoo’d between the ages of 16 and 17. I’m sure that if I had waited until I was 18…..I would have made the same dumb decisions. I do love tattoos, I just wish that the tattoos I have, had more meaning and better artwork. Let the judging begin/continue……..I have a parrot the size of my hand on my back shoulder. I have a unicorn head (yes, a unicorn- ugh) on my other back shoulder; the horn is crooked and my kids make fun of it because it looks like it ran into a wall. I have a large pixie/nymph with butterfly wings on my hip. Yes, you heard right, a nymph. I was fucking cool way back when and wanted people to think I was easy (I was). There is a small flower on my ankle and I have Minnie Mouse on my other ankle. Oh my goodness! Even I want to laugh at myself for the stupid things I have permanently etched on my body. All of my tattoos are very old and faded. One time I was getting a massage, and the masseuse asked me if I was in the process of having them removed because they were so faded. I might have cried a little. I am currently researching new ideas for a cover-up tattoo to cover my back shoulders. This is what I want for my 40th birthday next September.
4. I have a huge issue with people that drink and drive. This is probably the only topic that I will ever pull my soap box out for, not politics, not religion, but drinking and driving. I’ve been like this since I was a teen. I’ve just never had tolerance for people who can’t at least be responsible when they drink. So, ya…. I was the life of the party as I’m sure you can imagine. So don’t drink and drive assholes!!!
5. I’m not interesting, so this post will head downhill fast. I am a homebody. I have no desire to travel the world or even down the street for that matter. I am comfortable doing nothing for the most part. However, I do my hair and makeup every single day, even if I have no intentions of leaving the house. I do this because I am vain and always want to look decent, I need hair and makeup to pull that off.
6. I hate confrontations or debating anything. My opinion is easily swayed. I feel that if someone doesn’t agree with me, then I am probably wrong. I just assume everyone is smarter and knows more than I do. Sometimes I’m wrong, according to everyone else. See?
7. I met my husband while online dating. He is the only person that I actually met in person from that experience and it seemed to have turned out pretty good. When I met him, I almost broke things off because he didn’t want any more kids. I stuck around because he kept telling me that I was out of his league. That and, he’s an amazing person. Sucker!!! We had two kids just recently (19 months and 6 months old), so now we have four total. His plan failed!
Bonus: Interesting fact number 8, you will never get this time back. How sad is that? Might as well keep reading though, it’s almost done and you are in too deep to stop now (that’s what she said).
I am sooooooo fucking boring. I mean that in every sense of the word. I guess that’s not interesting or even a surprise. This post has made me realize that I need to do more stuff. Maybe more butt stuff? just a thought.
So here are the 10 blogs I would like to give it to. I follow all these blogs, they follow me too. Not sure if this award can go to people that don’t follow me, but I say fuck the people that don’t follow, mostly because they will never see this! But hey! If you are reading this, then just hit the follow button and you can read all my other useless crap too. Please……..I need friends and I’m actually down on my knees….. begging…… my husband to remove his penis from my mouth so that I can type this for you. That’s how much I want you to follow me.
Here are the 10 blogs. I’m sorry if I didn’t include you. But just think of the time I saved you from having to type one of these up. You’re welcome!!
The Office Inbetweener: Downright funny! And for the right price (according to him) he will suck dick, so bonus points for that!
The Big Dick Chronicles: Don’t be fooled by the name, there are no photos of big dicks, I looked. But don’t let that stop you from visiting them. Relatable stories, good advice and all done with a comedic down to earth flair.
The Things I See Up Here: Another funny man. Interesting day to day stories, and I read that he likes boobs, so that’s cool.
John Coyote: Beautiful poetry based on his real life experiences. From the heart and soul, worth a read.
Fat Bottom Girl Said What: Another funny blog with randomness, poetry and stuff to read.
Kastiyo’s: She brings attention to human interest stories and news that you may not have heard otherwise.
FunLoveGoodSex: Advice and tips about sex and relationships. Content provided by bloggers, so you get a fresh perspective each time.
The Howling Fantogs: A guy writing about his day to day life and everything that comes with it. Friends, life, music and being gay. I love gay guys, I think because I can never be one and that fascinates me. Just one of the reasons I guess. lol
Expat Eye on Latvia: Humorous and interesting observations on Latvia living.
AwakeningPsyche: Beautiful poetry filled with heart and soul.
So there you have it. My WORK is done! Show some love to the blogs I’ve mentioned if you don’t already.
I like reading just about anything and everything. I am fascinated by how other people live day to day. The voyeur in me loves to read about other peoples lifestyles, especially their sex lives. The topic can be so off limits or taboo in the “real world.” I am very grateful that blogging can offer anonymity to people who would not open up otherwise.
Thank you all for sharing your stories and thank you again to Liam for the award.
“Type hard! Like you mean it!”