NEWS FLASH ~ Guys Like Blowjobs ~ Who Knew?

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Can you believe it? Guys, men, and people with a penis, they all like getting their dicks sucked. I shit you not. Really. The first time I heard this I was shocked, SHOCKED!

Say it isn’t so. Dicks in mouths….WHAT?

You are a guy…..with a dick….and you want it sucked? No Fucking Way?

Seriously guys— EVERYONE ALREADY FUCKING KNOWS THIS!!!

So stop hinting, asking, and making comments about wanting it sucked. Do you really think that this is news? Some big secret? That everyone is an idiot and can’t figure this out on their own?

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Trust me. Your girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, partner, all know that you want your dick sucked. If we want to suck it, we will.

No need for a reminder or hint. If your dick isn’t being sucked, it’s not because your partner doesn’t know you like it. It’s because they don’t feel like sucking it.

I know that has to be hard to swallow.  It does sucks.  These jokes really blow.  Moving on……

Just so you know, we would never have to stop and think:

”Hmmmm…I wonder if he would like his dick sucked?”

“I want to suck it, but what if he’s not in the mood?”

“He only mentioned it 20 times today, so he must not be that serious about me sucking it.”

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Our thoughts are more like:

"Did he shower?"

“Did he shower?”

“What about me? Hello…I have needs too.”

“That thing was in my vagina earlier today, I’m not putting it in my mouth now.”

If your partner does decide to suck your dick due to your relentless, less than subtle hints, they might be thinking:

“Are you almost done, I’m fucking drooling all over the place?”

“If I stop to catch my breath, you’ll get distracted and it will be like starting from the beginning.”

“This is mostly for you, so just cum already.”

“I can’t believe it’s only been 5 minutes, feels like an hour.”

“I’m not going to swallow, so you better warn me.”

”Maybe if I moan more, that will speed things along.”

“Can’t you hear me gagging? WTF!”

“Where is the towel?”

“I’ll just rub your balls and that should do it.”

“Sooo…are you going to pull this out and jerk off on me, or should I grab it?”

“I’m not touching your ass!”

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I could go on an on.

Please consider all of this before you repeatedly inform your obviously ignorant partner that you enjoy having your dick sucked.

My husband never asks me to go down on him. You know why? Because he knows, that I know, that I can suck his dick whenever I want to and he would be good with it. Surprise, surprise!

When I suck dick, it’s because I want to, because I’m into it, and because I want to make him come undone. That is a turn on!

But ask and you shall not receive. When it’s done out of obligation it will not be as good for you.

When your partner willingly gets down on their knees, the thoughts are more like these:

“Yum!”

“I love it when he looks at me like that.”

“I’m going to make him finish.”

“You can cum anywhere you want.”

“I’m awesome.” (that’s what I think anyway. LOL)

To quote Forrest Gump – “That’s all I have to say about that.”

Off to go suck dick, because I’m awesome. Maybe. I don’t know, it’s late. There is always tomorrow, or the day after. Meh… I’m selfish, sooooo… some other time. I’ll just wait for my husband to ask.

“Type hard! Like you mean it.”

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11 thoughts on “NEWS FLASH ~ Guys Like Blowjobs ~ Who Knew?

  1. LOVED this (like everything else I read here). Been with my hubby for almost 25 years and can still reduce him to a ball of monosyllabic sounds with a well-timed blow job. He does the same for me when the favor is returned. Mmmm…life is good!

  2. Pingback: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Blowjobs | The Big Dick Chronicles

  3. While what you say may be true for many, I would say there are exceptions. Maybe my wife doesn’t like giving head, but I don’t remember a time when she spontaneously started sucking my dick. Neither as foreplay or ala cart. However, she’s usually willing to oblige when it is requested. Had the best BJ of my life Christmas eve..we were still talking about it this morning (4 days later), requested and delivered.

    • LOL– I think if you are in a good relationship then there really is nothing wrong with a comment here or there. I’ve been in bad relationships so I think I carry a lot of that over to my writing. But good for you on the best BJ ever!! I told my husband “if I suck it all the time, you would never enjoy it as much or truly appreciate it when you get it” It’s stuff like that, that makes you talk about it 4 days later. 😉

Be daring! Go all the way. Tell me....was it good for you?

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