If?….. Yes, only if…..
Because guidelines need to be put in place for some of you people out there. Because asking yourself ahead of time, “Does this person want to see my junk?” takes a lot of effort….apparently way more effort than pulling out the camera, uploading the photo, typing in an address and hitting send.
And when I say “junk”……..I’m talking to some of you women too, because no one wants to see this without being warned.
Okay….I am mostly talking to the men, but that photo above was just too good to not share. That’s what you find when you Google “angry vagina” by the way.
Here are some things that men need to know.
Unless a woman is fantasizing about fucking you, she probably doesn’t want a photo of your dick.
Now brace yourself for this……
Dicks are kinda ugly. Don’t get me wrong, there are some good looking dicks out there, not all dicks are ugly. But nothing is uglier than an unsolicited closeup of your wrinkly dick and hairy balls.
Don’t be that guy. You know the guy I mean, the one that goes, “Yeah….that girl is hot, I bet she would love a picture of my dick.”
No! No we wont! Stop yourself right there! Don’t do it!
If you know me at all then you know that I’m not a prude by any means. I don’t mind seeing tasteful nude photos, that goes for photos of men or women. I don’t even mind watching porn. But sending me a direct message of you holding your junk is a no-no.
So here are the rules, my rules anyway. Only send pictures of your junk if……
1. I ask for them.
2. You ask me if I want them and I say yes.
3. You have awesome abs or that sexy V thing going on. (Hey! I’m not perfect, there are loopholes to every rule. Isn’t there?)
4. I am having an actual dick measuring contest.
5. I mention needing a good laugh.
6. You have an odd growth and need my help identifying it. (I’m not a doctor, but I play one at home)
7. You don’t mind me showing my husband,
8. Or my mother.
9. Or the police.
10. You have awesome abs or that sexy V thing going on.
Yes, I said those two already, but I just want to reiterate that if you have abs and that V thing……then go ahead and send me photos of your junk.
Soooooo………. My husband is shaking his head saying “no”, apparently reasons 1,2,3 & 10 are still not good enough reasons to send me photos of your junk……so don’t send them. He ruins everything! Stupid dick!
“Type hard. Like you mean it!”