You need to stop watering dead plants.

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~ Fragile ~

Doesn’t matter how beautiful and lovely they once were.

We  have a hard time giving up, or letting  go of things, even when we know they are dead. I think we hold onto that hope that if we just keep adding water, maybe we can bring them back to life, salvage them in some way. Usually getting so caught up in the beauty they once held,  forgetting what caused them to die in the first place. If it’s dead, bury it! Get a new plant, water the hell out of it, but not too much, don’t want it to drown… which let’s face it…. is probably how you killed the first plant. Oh wow, that is not where I wanted to go with this. I’m sure it wasn’t you, that plant was probably a stubborn fuck that needed too much attention, impossible for you to tend to each and every selfish need it had. Stupid asshole plant!

“Type hard. Like you mean it!”

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52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 16

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Cravings ~ Self-Portrait

The theme for this weeks photo is ‘Leading Lines’.

I like all the angles and how there are many lines created from the windows, curtains, bed, and sheets. What I don’t like is that the corner of my room isn’t centered between those two windows, it throws it off. Granted, that window on the right side is centered on the wall it is on, and the window on the left side is balanced out with another window on the wall that it is on. I suppose it would bother me if they weren’t balanced there, even if that meant the corner lined up behind the bed. Hmmmm…. Maybe it’s OCD? Maybe I need a square room instead of a rectangle one, maybe with no windows….and padded walls, because I’m clearly going fucking crazy. :p

“Type hard. Like you mean it!”

52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 15

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Quiet Lullaby ~ Self Portrait

The theme for this weeks photo is ‘moody’.  Occasionally, I’ll pair a song with my images, for this one I’m using ‘Christina Perri ~ The Lonely’. I love her music, her songs have a way of making me sad, angry, and emotional….even when I’m extremely happy. Being a woman is confusing. lol

Anyway….. Completely unrelated, but related. I bought this little white slip, nightgown thingy I’m wearing the other day at a thrift store while looking for props. I went hoping to find an old, white, frumpy, cotton nightgown to use for a couple of other photo ideas I have. I ultimately couldn’t find what I needed, but I snagged this for $2.00 as a backup, it was good enough for this photo,  it’s not something I would ever wear otherwise, it makes me feel old. I mean…it’s comfortable, but not very flattering, and if I’m going to dress in something that’s not flattering, but comfortable, I’m going to go all out and invest in a muumuu! Go big or go home, right?  Yeah… that’s not going to happen either. I still want to look in the mirror and like what I see, a muumuu just doesn’t scream “take me to bed, or lose me forever.”

That being said, I’m also not a fan of getting all dolled up in lingerie to prepare for a wild night with the hubby. I know some women, and their men enjoy that experience, but for me, I think it’s such a waste of effort!    Which is odd, because I have a shit ton of lingerie. These days I buy it to use as ‘props’ for my photos.  In real life I feel like it’s so contrived, so I don’t wear it unless it’s something subtle…like garters and stockings under a dress so that when my hubby puts his hand on my leg, he can feel it. I like that it can elicit a response.

I’m starting to wonder if this is a ‘now that I’m older’ thing?  Maybe a bit about comfort and convenience too? Like when my husband wanted to buy sneakers that didn’t tie, but had Velcro instead, no… just no!

This is such a change from my younger days. When I was in my 20’s (I’m 41 now) I would go full out with lingerie, including the corset tops, stockings, garters, matching thong, and let’s not forget…. gloves. Yeah… I found these gems today while I was cleaning my closet. Mind you, I had the head to toe ensemble for each of these, and each piece was the same color. Not sure why I decided to keep just the gloves. They are fucking hot though! I’m wearing them as I type this.  My husband is going to have a hard time refusing me when he comes home. I just know it!

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To quote Jennifer Lopez from ‘The Wedding Planner’….”Teal, the color of gangrene.”

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I kind of wish I had the rest of the outfits now that I have the boobs to fill them.

What do you all prefer? Lingerie, no lingerie, ball gag, muumuu’s, all of the above?

As for me…I’m off to search for sexy muumuu’s. Two birds with one stone. Wish me luck!

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

 

 

 

52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 14

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Animals in bed! Rwoar! ~ {Self Portrait}

The theme for this weeks photo is ‘night’. I contemplated going outside and taking photos to really capture the true essence of ‘night’, I quickly decided against it because it’s a pain in the ass for me. Getting all my stuff together, finding something to shoot, being alone in the dark. Meh! Not what I enjoy doing. Aside from all that, I go to bed stupid early, 8:30ish…..it’s still sort of light outside when I go. I’m old! That’s why. Shut up! It’s just a matter of time before I start eating my dinner at 4pm. Okay, I may have done that on occasion too.

I wasn’t going to stay up late just to go outside and struggle to find a photo op. I starting thinking about how ‘wild and crazy’ I really am. Going to bed so early, and being too tired to do anything after a certain time. True party animal here! *sarcasm font needed*

That train of thought led me to the above image. I like the contradiction of being animals in bed, but not in the good way. You know I mean sex, right?

When we bought our house 9 years ago we decided to change the four bedroom floor plan and convert it into three bedrooms.  We took two of the rooms, knocked down their walls, and made the Master bedroom….you know, because we weren’t going to have any more kids. Yeah…. well… we decided to have more kids. Hindsight.

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For real!!

Now having four kids and only three bedrooms, guess where the little two kids sleep? In our room, where that other room used to be, only now there is no wall for privacy. Awesome, right? No!

So no, we are not animals in bed! Now…. the bathroom, garage, basement, kitchen, living room, car, and backyard are another story. We are animals there! Rwoar!

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My wonderful husband! I love that dork.

“Type hard, like you mean it! “

 

 

Be you, the world will adjust.

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Self-Portrait

Some days I need to remind myself of that. I will never be everyone’s cup of tea. Not everyone will like me, find my funny, or even think I’m slightly charming. Instead of adjusting what I say, or how I act, I’m learning to say “fuck you!” Only…. I just say that in my head, because damn it…I really do want people to like me. Why wouldn’t you like me? I’m pretty fucking awesome! Even on the inside. I don’t mean gut me open and take a peek. I’m sure that wouldn’t look too awesome. Me just laying there with all my innards outwards. Do I really need to explain this? No cutting me open, okay? We’re cool, right?

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 13

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The Keyhole ~ (Self-Portrait)

At the beginning of the year I decided to take on a photo project for 2016. It’s 52 weeks of photos, that’s one image per week….in case you’re bad with math.  The group I’m a part of supplies the ‘theme’ for every week,  each photographer can interpret it however they see fit. This weeks theme is ‘Focal Point’.

I’d like to say that I took this self-portrait through the actual keyhole, I can’t though. I didn’t have enough room, also… I was too lazy, and too impatient to come up with a backup plan to make it work. Truth! I’m lazy, and all for shortcuts. So this is two shots that I took and merged together in Photoshop.  I think what I love most about this shot and idea is that I didn’t have to clean any part of my room to take it. You can’t see the unmade bed, the clothes I just took off bunched up behind me,  piles of laundry, kids toys etc. Don’t you love how I can take a sexy photo and ruin it with the truth? lol

You can check out all of my photography on Flickr, including all the images for this project as well as other images I took just because I felt like it.

I’m happy to say that I did complete my 52 week project for 2015. Unfortunately, I didn’t keep up with posting them all here on the blog.  Unlike how this year will be, those were all self-portraits. If you want to check those images out, you can see them all in this Flickr album.

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

I worry it’s drooling, my vagina.

 

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This is me, trying to look all bad-ass.

This morning started out like most mornings.  I woke up, put on some active wear, and hit the weights. One of my favorite days, leg day. I do legs twice a week.  Since my workout on Tuesday I’ve barely been able to walk. My legs reached that jello stage.

Convincing myself that I’m invincible I carried on with my plan to shape my ass into something that doesn’t look…um…what’s a good word for, “I had three kids, gained a ton of weight, cottage cheesy”? Yeah, that.

I blasted some music, got myself into this apparent ‘beast mode’ that most people claim to be in when they work out, got under the bar, and started doing some split-squats. They are not new to me, I’ve done them plenty of times. We have a love hate relationship, really… they suck, but in a good for you kind of way. I fucking hate them!

I got my left leg done, moved to the right side, and as soon as I started to squat I could feel something tear, pull, cramp, hurt, try to break free from beneath my skin. Okay, I might be exaggerating a little, but it hurt like fucking hell. Enough so that I had to call it quits, skipping the rest of my workout.

My only option at that point was to crawl upstairs from out of my basement and ice it.  I sat down, made myself comfortable, and got the ice under me. The muscle that hurt was near my inner thigh/hamstring/ass. After sitting there for a good amount of time, I got up and noticed that the ice went ahead and numbed my damn vagina. Don’t worry though, it was just the right side. :/ Like a shot of Novocaine to the mouth, I couldn’t feel it. Trust me, I touched it… you know, just to be sure. It’s odd, standing there with only partial feeling in your vagina. Like when your cheek goes numb at the dentist. You start to wonder if you’re drooling. Is my vagina drooling? Is it leaking? Hanging lower on that side? Did I just pee? Sigh…

“Type hard, like you mean it!”