This morning started out like most mornings. I woke up, put on some active wear, and hit the weights. One of my favorite days, leg day. I do legs twice a week. Since my workout on Tuesday I’ve barely been able to walk. My legs reached that jello stage.
Convincing myself that I’m invincible I carried on with my plan to shape my ass into something that doesn’t look…um…what’s a good word for, “I had three kids, gained a ton of weight, cottage cheesy”? Yeah, that.
I blasted some music, got myself into this apparent ‘beast mode’ that most people claim to be in when they work out, got under the bar, and started doing some split-squats. They are not new to me, I’ve done them plenty of times. We have a love hate relationship, really… they suck, but in a good for you kind of way. I fucking hate them!
I got my left leg done, moved to the right side, and as soon as I started to squat I could feel something tear, pull, cramp, hurt, try to break free from beneath my skin. Okay, I might be exaggerating a little, but it hurt like fucking hell. Enough so that I had to call it quits, skipping the rest of my workout.
My only option at that point was to crawl upstairs from out of my basement and ice it. I sat down, made myself comfortable, and got the ice under me. The muscle that hurt was near my inner thigh/hamstring/ass. After sitting there for a good amount of time, I got up and noticed that the ice went ahead and numbed my damn vagina. Don’t worry though, it was just the right side. Like a shot of Novocaine to the mouth, I couldn’t feel it. Trust me, I touched it… you know, just to be sure. It’s odd, standing there with only partial feeling in your vagina. Like when your cheek goes numb at the dentist. You start to wonder if you’re drooling. Is my vagina drooling? Is it leaking? Hanging lower on that side? Did I just pee? Sigh…
“Type hard, like you mean it!”