I worry it’s drooling, my vagina.

 

DSC_567712finmr

This is me, trying to look all bad-ass.

This morning started out like most mornings.  I woke up, put on some active wear, and hit the weights. One of my favorite days, leg day. I do legs twice a week.  Since my workout on Tuesday I’ve barely been able to walk. My legs reached that jello stage.

Convincing myself that I’m invincible I carried on with my plan to shape my ass into something that doesn’t look…um…what’s a good word for, “I had three kids, gained a ton of weight, cottage cheesy”? Yeah, that.

I blasted some music, got myself into this apparent ‘beast mode’ that most people claim to be in when they work out, got under the bar, and started doing some split-squats. They are not new to me, I’ve done them plenty of times. We have a love hate relationship, really… they suck, but in a good for you kind of way. I fucking hate them!

I got my left leg done, moved to the right side, and as soon as I started to squat I could feel something tear, pull, cramp, hurt, try to break free from beneath my skin. Okay, I might be exaggerating a little, but it hurt like fucking hell. Enough so that I had to call it quits, skipping the rest of my workout.

My only option at that point was to crawl upstairs from out of my basement and ice it.  I sat down, made myself comfortable, and got the ice under me. The muscle that hurt was near my inner thigh/hamstring/ass. After sitting there for a good amount of time, I got up and noticed that the ice went ahead and numbed my damn vagina. Don’t worry though, it was just the right side. :/ Like a shot of Novocaine to the mouth, I couldn’t feel it. Trust me, I touched it… you know, just to be sure. It’s odd, standing there with only partial feeling in your vagina. Like when your cheek goes numb at the dentist. You start to wonder if you’re drooling. Is my vagina drooling? Is it leaking? Hanging lower on that side? Did I just pee? Sigh…

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

 

 

 

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “I worry it’s drooling, my vagina.

  1. LMFAO!!!!!!! That’s hilarious! !! You should have taken a mirror and check to see if it was dropping, you know, like your face after a dentist visit, hahahahaha. #Imafuckingperv

  2. What’s the Date? Oh I know!
    Seriously though, any form of Groin strain is a painful matter and if you are hurt then you have my deepest sympathy, though the method of pain relief did have me giggling, my mind was screaming ‘Dont, no don’t, Seriously DO NOT put that ice pack back on if you’re drooling!’

  3. You done numb your vaga ga! Dadgum. Like someone rubbed cocain all on it and now……. Well, if you could go minutes into hours before the white eyed roll back, you can go all night now. ;))
    You know if you rub it good enough, the feeling comes back quicker.

Be daring! Go all the way. Tell me....was it good for you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s