The theme for this weeks photo is ‘Construction’.
Aside from the obvious bathroom falling apart around me, this photo probably sums up a few aspects of who I am. No, not an alcoholic. Although a drinking problem could be just what I need. I joke, of course.
While life for the most part is good, I’m always tearing myself apart, finding the flaws, feeling never quite good enough. Good enough for myself, my own standards. Which is surprising because I have incredibly low standards. You can laugh at that.
I don’t sit there and beat myself up. I do however get into these funks that can make me question everything I’m doing. When I begin to feel confident or happy about things I’ve done, I start to think about every reason why I shouldn’t feel that way. It’s usually because I see someone else doing it, making it, or saying it better, at least it seems they are in my opinion. Photography, writing, crafting, parenting…. or just being. It can be exhausting to always question myself. Makes me wonder if other people are as confident as they seem, and if so… should they be?
I read this post on ‘Humans of New York’ and it made me feel a bit better, as if my uncertainty and insecurity is maybe just humility. Now that being said, I’m sure a little more confidence and less comparing myself to others couldn’t hurt either. Instead of thinking I’m not as good as so and so, I need to remember that I’m a pretty alright version of myself already. A little remodeling and some upgrades from time to time can only make me a better me.
Now I’ll hit the ‘Publish’ button and immediately start thinking about how someone else could have written this much better, using bigger words, proper punctuation, higher quality images. Okay… never mind, it’s settled. I need a drinking problem, it’s the only way! 😉
“Type hard, like you mean it!”