52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 25

mr

‘Dear Lord Baby Jesus..make it STAHP!’ Self-Portrait

The theme for last weeks photo was ‘Sign Language’.

I’m a little overdue with this photo as I struggled with the theme. Sometimes inspiration hits out of nowhere… in this case, it was my Instagram DM’s.

For the love of God, people. Stop sending me DM’s and mail telling me how hot I am, as original as that might be (eye-roll), I’m good. There is no reason that needs to be said in a private message. I’m appreciative that you find me attractive, thank you. Feel free to just leave a comment so that everyone can see it. At least boost my ego publicly like a decent pervert! 😀

I know this sounds petty. It could be worse, right? I mean, you could be sending me dick pics… oh wait… you’re doing that too. Sigh! STAHP!

Why? What is your motivation here?

I have yet to see a dick that makes me want to drop my panties and risk losing my family just to find out who is on the other end of it. I know what you’re thinking..”but I could be the one”.. No! Trust me, you are not the one.  Your dick could shoot out magic rainbows with hundred dollar bill confetti and I still wouldn’t want to…. um, okay…yes, I’d want to see that, but that’s the exception.

If after reading this you still want to send me photos, at least read up on my dick pic requirements. Here is a little something I wrote last year, still relevant today. Enjoy!

Only send photos of your junk if…

junk

 

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

 

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52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 24

finalpostedmr

‘Mustang’ Self-Portrait

mustang

The theme for this weeks photo is ‘window’.

After I post a photo on social media I’ll occasionally have someone ask me what the original photo looked like, or what I did, or didn’t add in Photoshop. Last weeks photo for example prompted some questions from a few people. So I figured I’d share some behind-the-scenes (BTS) from this weeks image and from last weeks image.  Sometimes I do a ton of Photoshop work, other time I keep it simple. Personally, I love when people share anything from BTS, I learn a lot that way.

Here is this weeks:

 

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Testing the light in my basement… that’s my stand-in so that I can get my focus right. Used one strobe light in back, pointing towards it.

beforemr

BEFORE…..Straight out of camera (SOOC), more often than not I have to remove nipples. lol

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AFTER….Some minor Photoshop work and a few filters added.

Here are a few from last week. Mostly to show the small space, because that was what everyone asked about.

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Standard ceiling height, window to the left and the right.

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Test shot for lighting. Nothing fancy, was too lazy to set up strobes. Kept the over head light on and put my flash on the camera to soften shadows, bounced it off the ceiling. Good enough.

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Making sure I was in focus.

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BEFORE….SOOC

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AFTER….Faux wall and some touch-ups.

 

…and there you go. I don’t have many blank walls to shoot against, so I have to get creative.

 

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 23

Untitled-6mr

‘Zen’ Self-Portrait

The theme for this weeks photo is ‘Minimalism’.

I’ve heard that doing yoga, and meditation, can enhance your sex life. Now, I’m not sure if that’s because you become more in tune with yourself, or if it’s because you get into all those sexy poses, either way….it’s worth a try. Let me know if I’m doing it right.

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I am feeling a bit more in tune with myself. For example, I now know that I have zero flexibility.  I also have no doubt that once my hubby sees me in these super sexy poses he will be all over me. Rawr!

I think it’s working.

bow chicka wow wow’….

‘brown chicken brown cow’…

“Type hard, like you mean it”

52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 22

mr2

“Shut up and dance with me!” Self-Portrait

The theme for this weeks photo is ‘Sound’.

It’s Friday, so I decided to dance around like a fool in celebration. What about the weekend am I celebrating you ask? Oh, you didn’t ask. That’s okay, because I really don’t celebrate the weekends anyways. It was a lie, all lies!!!

I’m a mom, I don’t get weekends you silly dork!

I do like to dance around the house in the morning when everyone is asleep though. I  celebrate the silence, because silence is golden, like a nice warm golden shower. Um…erm anyways… that got awkward, but hey, speaking of being pee’d on. Don’t do it! Stop it!

No, I really don’t care if you’re into that, unless you are randomly peeing on people that are not into it, that just makes you a douche. Don’t be a douche. Although a douche would be better than pee.

Oh dear, sometimes I should plan out what I’m going to say before I start typing.

goldenshowers496

…and no, jelly fish stings are not an exception, just a myth. So stop looking for excuses to pee on people! Geez! :p

If anything, we learned:

I don’t celebrate the weekends.

I don’t want to be pee’d on.

I’d rather be douched?

Only pee on people that consent to it.

Jelly fish stings are not the exception.

Not having a plan, keeps it real!

 

Now come on, SHUT UP AND DANCE with me!

 

“Type hard, like you mean it!”