‘Dismissed’ Self-Portrait


Didn’t expect my first self portrait of 2017 to be kind of depressing looking. Geez! I hope this isn’t a sign of things to come this year. :/

I was actually in a decent mood when I took this.  Of course, it was only 7am and everyone was still asleep, so I had no reason to be blah….yet.  As the day went on however….BLAH!  Maybe subconsciously I knew that when the the kids woke up they would act like awful demon spawns sent here to test every ounce of patience I had “kids”.  Ah…yes, my little angels! By the end of the day I was run ragged.  Didn’t help that I also felt old yesterday, I don’t usually feel that way, but I’m starting to notice how gravity is taking over my face, and I hate it. Thank goodness for make up, and Photoshop, and boobs that distract people from looking at my face. Even I, in this photo am staring down at my boobs, thinking “you’re all that’s saving me, don’t let me down, boobs!”

“Type hard, like you mean it!”


6 thoughts on “‘Dismissed’

  1. Ahh this is normal to go through these feelings. I heard someone say if we all threw our problems out on the floor and saw everyone else’s we would quickly pick back up ours. We all feel a certain ‘blue’ about getting old…. last autumn I had an epiphany of what my life will be like in the future. 80 yrs+ dying alone at home. I have no wife nor any children. It was a chilling thought to wake up from napping on the couch, and a hard pill to swallow , but this is the accumulations of all my choices and there is no one to blame for it but myself….. I have made peace with it so don’t feel bad.

    You have two beautiful children and they are going to grow up fast ….. and you will miss that part that weighs on you now. You will have them around when you reach my age…. I am just saying you are fortunate for that from my perspective.

    Mind you …. you gave me a great idea , maybe I should get boobs too….. I would probably never look anyone in the face ever again 😀

    Just hang on , this will pass 😉

    • Oh yes, I agree. I am truly grateful for everything I have and honestly wouldn’t change the life I have. My kids are amazing little creatures, they bring out the best….. and the worst in me, and as crazy as it is, I love it! Granted, some days are easier to tolerate. lol
      I’m already sad about them starting school. I’ll be a mess when that happens!
      Yesterday was just a ‘meh’ day, so I vented a bit. In the scheme of things, it was just a ‘day’. Today has totally rocked. My kids have been amusing me, and I look pretty damn good at the moment. 😀

  2. Gal I read your blog tried to reply wouldnt let me:( idk why but anyways I wrote a crap load and lost it. So this is what I have to say so listen up. For number 1 your are a very beautiful lady ok!!!!! Yeah I know I am a friend here but I dont sugar coat. Its true men love hair and sexy bodies and nice panties and bra and dont forget the heels! But ya know what buddy what really makes a person is what is inside and you girl have 1 hell of a heart! You are very sexy but you keep in mind men see other things besides ass tits legs lips and a great smile. Dye you have a man here who has seen alot hell in his life and if any1 out their understands things about what your speaking its me. And many more in the world like that as well. Stop this beating the crap out your self. You are a very special person but the problem is you lost track of things. You dont make time for you. You want to make others happy but never having that me time for yourself. Its always I have to do this or that and go here and their. I dont know as in person I wish I did tbh. I think your a pretty awesome person. But hun let me tell ya if you dont start taking time out for you it will set you in a place that dont want to be and trust me I know. I told my family in a nice way I need time for me but if you push so help me God I will make you understand when that time comes and I did. I had to go off hard on every1 by saying listen up and few other words. I said you people need to learn how to fix your own life and other things I am not Mr fixer. Gal I suffered with major depression and anxety and ptsd and bipolar. I did the meds got fat took 2 and half years of therpy and that was a blessing:) Last March I told the doctors I am done with there 7 meds and happy pills. They told me you will regret it and you will go manic again. And I smailed and said guess what I am going tp prove myself to you people in my next appointment. And I did I walked in with a smile very nice talkative listening. Doctor said wow you look like a new person what in Gods name have you done. I told them I quit the meds for 1 started medatation my therpy is now done he said I am ready to face the world head on. Gal im not saying go out get ya some meds and seek a shink. Sometimes all we need is 1 to listen Dye. You ever need to spill your mind I will hear you out. I dont wanna scare ya. I am a great man you heard me speak alot about my life and you listen to me. I am done with all I just told you and a better man. But you have to take time for you. I still have things inside I cant fix because I deal with being alone. Yeah I think your very beautiful and your husband is a very lucky man to have you. I wont lie I do love your pics and that is all I will say I try and be very respectful with you always. And I hope my pic didnt make you mad. I miss talking to you very much. But sounds to me you need to vent speak what you feel inside. Peace and love my friend always here for ya:)

    • Hey Jon…. And here I thought I was keeping my blog post pretty light-hearted when I typed it up. lol

      I think maybe this photo is conveying something that really isn’t there (which is usually the case). Sometimes I just take a photo because I like the light or because I’m trying something new, they don’t always have some deeper meaning. Really. Yesterday was a stressful day, but not an “I’d change my life” sort of stressful. Just the normal day to day stresses. I’m actually a very happy, upbeat person, sort of annoyingly happy if you ask most people. All is good my friend. I actually joke around about getting old and wanting a face lift, but I’m not necessary beating myself up, just recognizing some things I wish weren’t changing (like my face).

      PS… I promise I’m not ignoring you. I do know you have written a handful of times on FB, but I currently can’t write back or respond on my phone (that’s usually when I’m online), every time I log into my FB page, my phone kicks me out. It might be as simple as just updating the app., I dunno. But once I’m able to sign in and not get bumped out, I’ll write back. 🙂 I’m happy to hear you are doing well, and thanks for your concern, but really…. no concern is needed, I’m not that stressed out. lol

      • Ok just making sure your a friend and I do care and quit that talk your flawless gal my gosh. Now you want honesty I gave it, Now I can be non respectful and come off like a pervert lol, but I wont lol. Yeah I know what you mean in taking a pic to capture what the eyes take in. So yeah lol. I know your not blowing me off Dye I know ya bit better than ya think he he:) And why you cant log in is youry sexy as___ that’s the real reason why lol. Dad reminded me the other day something about pains, and it applies to age. He said son face it your getting older and we cant do the things we use too. I dont accept it lol. I put on a back brace and run like the blazes if I have too:) Ohh gota tell ya this for laughs while its on my mind ha ha. Had a friend a few months ago ask me about my soaps I make. Me and her were joking around she is a long time friend. Idk how it all got started that I said this. But I said ya know something my soap gets more action than I’ll ever see and gets to go places I’d only dream!!!!!! Yeah you best be laughing Dye:)

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