No, it’s not a porn site. I know- that’s disappointing to hear, especially if you typed something weird in your search engine to get here. Trust me, I’ve seen what people searched to find me and it is some pretty weird stuff to do with moms and fucking.
If I’m not offering porn than what’s with the half naked photos, and blog title?
Because I can, that’s why.
When I chose my blog layout and photos, I did ask myself these questions.
“Who is this blog for?”
“Who is my target audience?”
“Who will I be writing for?”
“Should I tone things down?”
“Can I write about my kids and sex on the same blog?”
“Are half naked pictures of myself the way to go?”
“Is anyone going to get the wrong idea?”
“Is the monkey his uncle?”
There were many more questions I pondered over, when I realized……
“Wait a minute, this is my blog!”
I’ll do whatever the hell I want.
So fuck off!!
But not really, because I love the company.
Ugh, I sound like a bitch.
Really…. I’m not a bitch, I just play one online. I actually do care about what people think, more than I care to admit, but not enough to change my blog.
Here are a list of reasons why I used half naked photos of myself and will probably add more. Feel free to pick and choose the ones that make you feel better about it. Some are facts, and some are for those people with sticks up their asses, so they can shake their heads and agree like they figured me out. Have fun separating the two.
I have daddy issues.
I want to be added to someones spank bank.
I am almost 42 and live under the illusion that I’m still sexy.
I am sexy.
I like gorillas.
I have low self esteem.
I have mad Photoshop skills and don’t really look like that.
I’m an attention whore.
I’m a bad mother.
I’m a good wife.
I enjoy negative attention.
I like any attention.
I am highly under-educated.
I live on a zephyr.
What’s a zephyr?
I ate a pickle.
I pole dance for cookies.
I strip in my basement on laundry day.
I like the way gasoline smells.
I want my kids to find this one day, and know I was cool.
I’m not dead.
I have a sense of humor.
I’m happy with myself.
I used to have a penis.
I don’t have any other photos to use.
I like the way Tide smells. Who doesn’t?
I was abandoned at Ames (remember that place?).
The word nipple makes me laugh.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
I went to church once.
I eat bananas in public.
I’m not spanked enough.
I’m a highly paid super-model in Liberia.
I like criticism.
I enjoy hate mail.
I have no friends.
I watched Cloverfield and want my money back.
I have no other talent.
I can’t think of any other content.
I hear sex sells.
I’m poor and need the money.
What? I’m not getting paid for this shit?
I like photography.
I’m turned on by looking at myself.
My body will never look like this again.
I want people to feel wrong when they visit my blog.
I’m lonely and need my Snuggie.
I verbally abuse my vagina.
My kids let me down.
I would rather go naked than figure out ways to skin a cat.
My boyfriend, husband, and garden gnomes said I should.
Those are just some of the reasons why I have half naked photos of myself up. Feel free to draw your own conclusions and make a game of figuring out which are true.
Maybe I was wearing my Snuggie while eating a banana in public. Then started yelling at my vagina and needed to be naked to catch the attention of the Gorilla I was admiring at the zoo. It could happen.
You will see the occasional suggestive photo; I like to add those to my poetry. I am also a fan of well done nude or semi nude photography, so I might share those as well. But not porn and nothing graphic, you will see none of that here.
“Type hard, Like you mean it!”