Who the hell am I?

“Never make eye contact while eating a banana!”

My name is Dye.

I’m a dirty girl……..dirty minded anyway.  But admitting it is the first step.  The next step is to just embrace it, I decided to choke the shit out of it.

I’ve been married, divorced, married, had a kid, divorced, married, and had two more kids.  In that order.  I will be widowed before I’m ever divorced again. My husband knows this, so he knows not to screw up, and he won’t- but than again he has no reason too- I keep him happy. Insert not so subtle *wink, wink* here. 😉

Reasons you should listen to me? Meh, not sure if you should. I’m just a another schmuck with a blog that I barely maintain, but hell… I’m at least honest about it.

Like I mentioned above, I’ve been married, divorced, and a single mom.

I’ve had friends with benefits and would recommend it if you’re single.  Something pretty freeing about sex with no commitment. 😉

I have a blended family, a step-daughter that is a teen, a daughter that’s a tween teen, a toddler and a baby, and two toddlers. I have my hands full over here!!

I still have a smidge of sanity, so catch me before it’s gone.

I have two older brothers, one of them died at the age 11 (I was 5).

I was raised by a single mother. I’m close with my mother, not in any weird fucked up way though you perv.

I’ve hated sex in my past marriage but can’t get enough of it now.  I make no bones about it….. I love sex!

I cheated in my first marriage. (But surprisingly that is not the cause of my divorce).

I’ve been cheated on.  (This is the cause for my second divorce)  So yes, I know Karma!!

I like to commiserate, but I love my life and wouldn’t change anything because all of this made me who I am today.

That’s me! Love me or leave me, but let me be me.  This is my space, feel free to join in.

One of my favorite funny quotes:  “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, there are so many other reasons too”.  – An altered quote I heard my mother say once.

Another favorite quote: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”  -Bernard M. Baruch

Number one thing….I write what I want on my blog,  if you like it than you are most likely an inappropriate dirty pervert too. Let’s unite!!!

Here are some things you should know. I am happily married, not just sometimes happy, always fucking happy.  I’m not some lonely housewife looking to hook up or talk dirty with random people.  My husband pleases me in more ways than I can count, and I can count pretty damn high.  I am monogamous and have no desire to be anything otherwise. I had to add all that here because when you name your blog ‘Your Mother Is A Dirty Girl’, you get some fucked up email. I really should have thought that name through first. Hindsight, eh?

For future post my husband will be known as Batman.  That’s right! I can call him whatever I want, he’s my husband, so Batman it is.

My mind is always in the gutter, always.  It doesn’t matter what you say it will sound dirty to me.  I feel like I have to filter myself most days because I am a mother,  wife, and card carrying member of the PTA.

I plan on using this space to talk about motherhood, sex, photography, books, and anything else that I want. I’m sure I will be re-posting things I like, sharing things that make me laugh, and posting my inappropriate poetry from time to time.  I’m trying to keep the sexy in my marriage, it can be hard when there are so many damn kids around all the time.

I love being a mother, some days are easier than others, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything, maybe a ton of money and some silence on a private beach… but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.  I love to read, but if the book doesn’t have sex in it I probably won’t be in a rush to read it. When I read something other than smutty books, it’s usually funny/satire, motivational, self improvement, or on occasion… James Patterson.

I like to make people feel uncomfortable so I swear, talk about sex, act like my kids are worse than they are, and say things for shock value.  But above all that— I really enjoy having sex!  Yes- I did already say that, didn’t I? Than it must be true.  I’m not one of those mom’s that lay around making up excuses to not have it.  I don’t care if I have a headache or if I’m not feeling well.  I am not a nympho though. I know this because I was married before and hated putting out.  I guess I can save that for another post down the road.  I’m not a lesbian…yet….(I threw that in there for Batman, gotta give the man hope even though it will never happen…never…ever..never – just to be clear…maybe.. you never know) but I do think women are beautiful to look at, the female body is very sexy.

Photography is one of my hobbies, I love it!!  I also make and sell crafts to support my out of control paper addiction, and I dabble in writing (hence the blog).

I’m even trying to write a somewhat dirty book, mostly for myself, not sure what my plans are for it yet.  Publish it? Maybe.  I also have a ton of ideas for funny stories and satire about parenting that I would like to compile into a book.  One day when I have time, and by ‘time’ I mean get off my ass and focus, I will finish what I started…..one day….sigh……

I’m all for same sex relationships, different sex — just not animal sex– unless you mean fucking like animals, than I’m all for that kind of sex, but not like sex with animals, that’s just fucked up.

Not sure what else you will get from me here. I find that I have let a lot of stuff go unsaid in the ‘real world’ so this is my place to say it.  This is an outlet for me to be expressive, just because I am a wife and mother doesn’t mean that I am not a sexual being, a woman, and someone with a sense of humor.

If you are like me, want to be me, or just like looking at me (that’s weird and creepy) than follow me and let’s get dirty together, but not like together, together…..just online, and I don’t really mean that either.  How about you just read what I write and keep your dirty shit to yourself? Cool!

No matter what you say:

“Type hard.  Like you mean it!”   <—That’s mine, it will become a thing– you’ll see.