Like the title implies. I’m writing a dirty book.
I don’t know if anyone will like it, but I enjoy writing it.
The story is one that just came to mind, probably because I read so much smut.
When inspiration slaps you, you say, “thank you Sir, may I have another”, and you run with it or bend over and take it- either could work.
It’s simple and easy to read, filled with sarcasm and some sex.
I am only going to post some of it here to give you an idea of what I’m doing. The first four chapters will be listed below. I have about 16 or so written so far. Just so you know, there is no sex in these four chapters, but if you just want to read the smutty stuff- it starts in Chapter nine. I get it, you just want the dirt– welcome to the club 😉
I’m on Goodreads too, so hook up with me if you want. More chapters over there- including number 9.
Keep in mind that this book is in the works, so it might change slightly. It still needs some fine tuning as far as typos go, but it’s pretty cleaned up on here so you shouldn’t stumble over much reading it.
I’m not fond of the description, as the book is filled with banter, sarcasm, and quick wit; none of which come across in the description, but you’ll get the idea of the story line at least.
Jenna was a quick witted, dirty minded woman who was very outgoing at one point in her life. Now at 24 she is getting back to the person she used to be after being in a toxic two year relationship that made her feel worthless and insignificant. When she meets the delicious Mr. Steel her body and her mind don’t coincide. Can she trust him? Is he the good guy he claims to be? Always waiting for the other shoe to drop, will she let him in or keep pushing him away?
Blah blah blah— you see where it’s going.
Oh my god!
I can’t believe I’m going to be late for work again, the third time this week.
Jesus, Jenna, get your shit together already. You’re 24 and still have a hard time functioning like an adult!
I was late for work both Monday and yesterday, and even though I reminded myself last night to go to bed early to avoid being late, I stayed awake and touched up my roots instead. My hair is naturally dark brown, but this is a darker shade, almost black, and complements my light brown eyes better than my original color. My friends think I’m crazy for even bothering when it’s not much of a difference, but I love it.
I should’ve gone to bed when I was done with my hair, however I got my second wind and decided to watch a movie instead. That was my downfall.
It’s mornings like this that I am grateful to have an employer that is very laid back. I do feel guilty for taking advantage from time to time however, especially when I know we have to leave for a photo shoot in less than an hour and a half. It doesn’t help that I will need to haul ass to get through Boston traffic, which will take me at least an hour. As much as I love the city life, the cost of living in Massachusetts is just too high for me to justify moving out of New Hampshire.
I’m really not looking forward to this photo shoot today either. The idea of rushing to work, just to take boring head shots of another big wig, so he can plaster his face all over promotional material…is not appealing. Experience tells me that he will no doubt make some joke about me removing his double chin or love handles in Photoshop. When this happens I typically sit back and giggle, stroke egos, and make lame comments like “What?… you look great, what are you talking about?” Of course I’m usually thinking “If you know you’re a fat ass, why would you want your photo on any business material?”
Thank god my inner monologue usually stays in…usually.
Oh yeah, should be a fun morning.
I took this good enough for now, I will only stay a few months assisting job over two years ago for a couple of reasons, today is not one of those reasons.
One: I love just about anything creative. Photography and Graphic Design are not only a passion and hobby of mine, but it’s what I went to school for.
Two: I get to assist one of Boston’s top wedding photographers and be a part of a couples special day. What I love most, is that moment in time at a wedding where you catch the glimpse shared between the bride and groom, that moment when they think no one is looking. I have the pleasure of not only witnessing it, but capturing it on camera. It’s moments like those, when no one is looking, those are the moments I live for.
“Jenna, cutting it close… don’t you think? What’s your wonderful excuse today?”
“I’m so sorry Michael, I wish I had some great excuse. Like …I met this guy…brought him home, and was busy getting laid this morning causing me to be late. Sadly, the truth is, I just fell asleep on the couch last night…alone, after watching Crazy, Stupid, Love for the hundredth time and was nowhere near my alarm clock. ”
Michael just laughs at me. It helps that he’s okay with me having a dirty mouth, and an even dirtier mind.
I consider Michael to be one of the luckier people I’ve met when it comes to the love department. He is head over heels, and found his partner Jim years ago while online dating. He doesn’t let that prevent him though from speaking to me like he’s single and straight, so we get along great. Part of the reason I’ve been working here so long is because I love being around them and I can truly be myself, unfiltered. They are not only my friends, but I consider them my family as well.
Michael and Jim both own the business. They look like brothers in my opinion because they both have light hair, blue eyes and a goatee. I constantly tease them about it, saying that I’m going to buy them matching outfits just to see if I could tell them apart.
I work as Michael’s personal assistant. I help him with everything from miscellaneous office work, retouching photos, graphic design, shooting weddings, ordering lunch and the occasional on location shoot like today’s.
As we make our way over to 60 State Street; new home of the Going Natural corporate offices, I apologize again to Michael for leaving him hanging, having to pack up all of the equipment himself this morning. Of course his only comment is about me saying equipment and hanging. I just roll my eyes and laugh. It doesn’t surprise me at all that those are the only two words he heard in that entire sentence.
“Okay Micheal, fill me in on the details for today so I know what’s going on.”
I am typically prepared in advance on what the day’s schedule will be, but oversleeping has thrown me off my game. Michael lets me know that the client is the new sole owner of Going Natural, he had owned the company with his parents but they are retiring. He will now be the man in charge. Today’s plan is to capture images with a modern flair. The company is going to be re-branding and they are looking to target a younger audience.
I ask Michael what the guys name is so that I know how to address him before we get there. Michael says with a smile, knowing it will no doubt raise an eyebrow or two.
“His name is Lead Steel.”
“Seriously Michael?… You pulling my dick? The guys name is Lead Steel? Like…take me to your Lead-er?”
Michael snickers at my comment.
“Ya, you heard right… his name is Steel…Lead Steel.”
I laugh at Michael for throwing a Bond reference in there. We can, and have, had entire conversations using only movie quotes.
“Who the hell names their kid that? Sounds like a name that a porn star would use. He’s probably fat, and bald, and looks more like a Joe Schmo. What a waste of an interesting name.” I say rolling my eyes.
Michael agrees that the name is unusual. He’s pretty sure that Lead’s parents are hippy types. He goes on to explain that he met them both once at a fundraiser a few years back. He claims that they seemed normal for the most part. Not your typical I have more money than you type, but rather the laid back and down to earth kind.
I’ve been in this building quite a bit, but usually stop on level 33 to photograph weddings and other events at The State Room. This will be my first time going to the 37th floor since Going Natural has taken residence there. A law firm had resided there previously. We visited on a few occasion to photograph the head honchos. I’m curious to see the new layout.
On the ride up in the elevator, as I mentally go over my equipment checklist, I realize that we forgot a bag in the SUV. It makes sense that I get volunteered to retrieve it, seeing how I’m the ASS / assistant…same thing, that forgot to make sure we had it. This will also give Michael the chance to get setup and ready for the shoot, rather than running around to get a bag.
I make it to the car as quickly as possible and grab the bag I need. I just wish it wasn’t so damn heavy. I’m not a wimpy, fragile girl by any means, but I weigh all of 110 pounds and am only 5′ 2″. This bag is literally half my size; bulky, and just a pain in the ass to carry. The shoulder strap is adjusted for Michael’s 6 foot frame and build, so it keeps hitting me in the back of my knees as I walk. I don’t want to re-adjust it since I will not be the one carrying it back down.
I wobble back into the building, head over to the elevators, where a group of men in suit have their backs to me. There are a few different conversations going on while waiting for the next car to come down. When the doors open, everyone piles in. I decide to wait for the next car because I don’t want to be crowded.
I go to step away and I hear a voice in back saying, “Going up? There’s enough room.”
Well I’m not going down.
Suddenly I feel like all eyes are on me, obligated to get in as the door is being held open with the expectation that I’m climbing aboard. The last thing I want is to squeeze into an elevator with all these men while I try not to hit them with this fucking bag!
Is all I manage to get out of my mouth as I squeeze in, practically kissing the doors because it’s so tight in here. I can’t even set the bag down on the ride up. Luckily floor number 37 is already lit up, but it looks like we will be stopping a few times on the way. When floor 25 is reached, I am left in the elevator with one lone passenger that I can feel behind me, clearly going to my floor. I wonder if it’s the person who made me feel like I should get in this car. If so, they can suck it!
I can finally set the bag down knowing I won’t have to keep moving to let people off. When I do, it makes a louder thud than I anticipate as it hits the floor. I try not to look behind me as to avoid conversation, instead opting for awkward silence.
“That looks like it weighs more than you,” the guy behind me says.
Ugh small talk!
So much for awkward silence.
“Yeah, it’s pretty heavy,” I reply.
Now please leave me alone.
“You should have someone else carrying that for you,” he continues.
Oh my god… really? Stay professional Jenna.
“It’s not that bad,” I say turning to give him my leave me alone look. But when I glance back, I swear my panties hit the floor, and I’m pretty sure he heard them fall since he had a smirk on his face like he could read my mind. He is gorgeous. I’ve never been one into suits but this guy looks delicious. He’s tall, taller than Michael, and there is something about his messy dark hair, five o’clock shadow and slate eyes that makes me want to lick his skin off!
“I can help you with your bag when we get off,” he says.
Ooh, we are going to get off together? So soon?
My mind is typically in the gutter, but this man makes me want to live there.
“No thanks. Really. I have it.”
I know Michael wouldn’t be crazy about someone else handling all these lenses and cameras. It also seems unprofessional to have someone else handle it when I can do it myself, so I regretfully decline his offer. When the doors open I go to grab the bag, and as I reach for the handle, Mr. Panty Dropper brushes my hand aside, grabs the bag.
“When a man offers help…take it,” he says as he walks off the elevator.
I don’t know what to say so I just follow him out and we head down the hall towards Going Natural. When we enter the large glass doors, he sets the bag down near the reception desk.
“You’re welcome…was that hard?” he says smiling, flirty almost.
He then walks off towards the offices on the right.
“Well..thank you,” I mumble sarcastically, to myself really, since I wasn’t even given the chance to say thank you to him.
Whatever. I didn’t want or need the help anyway. When I explain to the receptionist who I’m looking for she has me take a seat in the waiting room while she finds someone to come get me. I guess I can’t be trusted to roam the halls alone to locate where Michael is set up. I don’t mind really, the over-sized brown leather couch in the room is well worn and comfy; from it, is an amazing view overlooking the Boston Harbor. It’s beautiful. After a few moments pass, the someone comes for me. She introduces herself, but I’m not paying attention to what she says, so in my head I refer to her as Ms. Butterface. You know the type, where everything looks great, but her face. She guides me into a huge office filled with more people in suits, which I can only assume are staff and our guy for today.
I walk in and hear Michael call me.
“Jenna, over here.”
Great! Mr. Helpful Handsome guy from the elevator is standing with him.
“This is Jenna Valentine, my assistant. Jenna, this is Mr. Steel,” Michael says as he grabs for his bag. “I hope you guarded it with your life on the way up.”
” I did,” I reply as I look at Mr. Steel, or should I say Lead.
The guy doesn’t look much older than me, its weird to call him mister, but I will have to when I address him now that he’s a client.
So much for fat and bald.
His name actually suits him. I would watch porn all day if he was in it.
“Nice to meet you,” he says while shaking my hand.
“You too,” I reply, fully aware of my hand in his.
It’s warm, big, and surprisingly rough, like he does more than just push papers around. I feel some unspoken connection that I can’t explain. I briefly wonder how his hands would feel on me. I’m sure I blush slightly at the thought. For some reason he lets his hand linger longer than necessary. I’m curious if he feels what I’m feeling. I want to keep my hand in his all day, but I pull away feeling nervous about my libidos reaction to him.
Michael says we are ready to start. He sets Lead up near the large window, sitting him at his impressive large wooden desk. My thoughts stray and I wonder what it would be like to lay on that desk.
What the hell is wrong with me?
“Hey, Jenna honey,” Michael calls me from my daydream. “Please fix his lapels and straighten out the tie.”
Lead shoots me a look that reads like he doesn’t like the idea.
Seriously? Like I want to touch you.
Well… I do, but I wish he didn’t look so irritated at the mention of it? Maybe I pissed him off by not accepting his help in the elevator. Who knows?
I decide to take my time while I adjust his clothes so that I can inhale him. Sounds creepy, I know, but he smells so damn good.
“That’s enough!” he says while giving me an intense stare.
Ouch that hurts.
I step away realizing he’s a jerk. I shouldn’t be surprised, I’m usually attracted to assholes. For a moment I was hopeful that this guy would be different. I don’t get it though. I’m pretty sure he was flirting in the elevator, then again when we were introduced with his lingering hand shake, but now he doesn’t want me close to him or touching him. Can you say, Bipolar? As crazy as it seems, I feel like I don’t care. I want to be up against him. I hate that my body and my mind want to betray what’s best for me. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Michael recommends a few more shots without the suit coat for a more casual look. Of course, I have to straighten some things out on Lead. With crushed ego I move in to loosen his tie and roll up the sleeves on his white dress shirt. I notice what looks like a tattoo beneath the fabric on his bicep. It’s hard to make out since he has a t-shirt underneath as well, and only a piece of it is peeking out. My mind is running wild at what the artwork might be of. He notices me staring at it and has a questioning look on his face, so I quickly finish up and back away before he tells me to stop again.
We finally have all the headshots we need, so I start to pack up and I honestly feel like I can’t get out of here quick enough. Even though this guy is yummy to look at, there are too many mixed signals going on.
Michael talks to Lead while they each pull up their calendars .
”We have a full schedule for most of tomorrow, and a shoot for a mixer event downstairs in the evening, so I won’t have time to get to the files together until Friday morning.”
“We will however be back here again for a wedding Friday night. I can have Jenna bring a digital copy by beforehand for you to look at. Let’s say…around three o’clock? Then she can drop off the finish files, prints and whatever you chose next week on… ”
Don’t say Friday, don’t say Friday.
” Friday around four?”
Lead agrees to the plan.
Fuck, not Friday.
That’s when I’m heading up north for a mini vacation, I was hoping to take the day off. It will be difficult enough navigating through traffic on motorcycle week, let alone having to deal with the congested Friday night traffic that Boston has to offer tacked onto the trip.
I want to fucking kill you Michael.
Michael senses that something is wrong and asks if that works for me.
Just say no, say no!
“Jenna, I can have Jim do it if you can’t,” he says.
“No, I can take care of it Michael, don’t worry about it.”
What’s wrong with me?
I know it’s because I can’t wait to see him again. I just hate having to admit it to myself.
“Oh shoot! Jenna. Are you sure? I forgot you are heading up north next Friday.
“Don’t worry about it Michael, it’s no problem,” I say.
With that Lead shakes my hand while nodding towards Michael.
“Sounds like a plan. I look forward to seeing you on Friday with those files. Until then Ms. Valentine,” he says before he walks away.
Once back at the office I find that I can’t stop thinking about Mr. Steel, Lead…what a name. Something about the way that suit hugged his body and that tattoo just begged to be seen, makes me squirm in my seat. The more I think about him, the more I realize I need to avoid seeing him Friday if possible. I always get too caught up, too quick, and loose myself in the process. I will just drop the files off with the receptionist, and be done with him. That should help get him off my mind, even if only for a little while.
On my way home, which takes almost 2 hours due to traffic, my roommate Lindsey calls to see if I can pick up some dinner. I just want to get home but reluctantly agree to do her this favor. She is one of my best friends and luckily it’s just drive thru junk that she wants, so I don’t even need to get out of the car. I’ve known Lindsey Shay since I was ten years old, I call her my pretty friend because she is a leggy brunette with olive skin and green eyes, she’s the type of girl that most girls hate based on looks alone. We met while our families were camping, we’ve been friends ever since. The one thing I know for sure, is that fast food for Lindsey means she’s had a shitty day. I am going to partake in tonight’s binge thanks to Mr. Cloud My Mind With Confusing, Frustrating, Sexual Thoughts Steel.
“Hey honey, I’m home. I brought our, we are so gonna regret this tomorrow dinner”. Lindsey walks out of her room and frowns, putting on an exaggerated pout. Apparently, her boyfriend Sean isn’t sure if he want to join us next weekend. I have no doubt that he is trying to guilt her into not going as well. The guy is a complete loser in my opinion. He reminds me of some of my ex-boyfriends, always trying to manipulate the situation to work in his favor. I try not to say anything harsh because I don’t want to upset Lindsey more than she already is, and I know from experience that when you’re in that situation, you won’t listen to anyone outside of it. Aside from the grief Sean is causing, her boss is also giving her a hard time about taking next Monday and Tuesday off. I don’t fully understand why she would turn suddenly, seeing how Lindsey got the okay on those days over a month ago. “She can be such a bitch sometimes Lindsey, why do you put up with her shit?”
“You know why. She’s my mother, so I have no real choice”.
“True, but maybe it’s time to find a different job, one that’s less… “Mommy Dearest”.
“You know I love working at the flower shop, and I love my mother, she’s just having one of her moments that drive me up a wall. I’ll get those days off but she will make me repay her for them in someway or another”.
It seems like that is how things in our lives seem to go too. You can’t get something for nothing, which is why I don’t usually ask for help, or accept help easily. Just about every time I have asked for, or needed help in the past, there is always some unwritten rule that says, I owe you way more in return, and everyone is so quick to try and collect. All of my ex-boyfriends were like this. Selfish. My last Ex, Nick for example, was the worst offender. He would expect things all the time, an eye for an eye, but if I ask you to run to the store to get me a snack on the way home. I shouldn’t feel obligated to get down on my knees to repay the debt every time. I found myself doing a lot things I didn’t want to do when I was with him. I eventually learned to just go get the fucking snack myself or go hungry. I felt very used and worthless during our relationship. One day, during an argument we were having, I just came out and asked him what I was worth to him. He told me nothing. Nothing! He actually said I was worth nothing to him. I cried for days. I did everything he commanded during our time together. How could I be worthless to him. I was devastated. The moment he said that, he broke me, he broke the remaining pieces of me that he hadn’t broken yet. I became worthless in my mind. I stayed with him six more months after that trying to make him love me, hoping he would find some kind of value in me, it never happened. I kept trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I had changed so much in the two years we dated, I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I hardly saw my friends, I dressed like a nun, the way he preferred. I didn’t joke around or make dirty comments to anyone like I used to. I finally saw the light and moved out of our apartment a year ago when I caught him cheating, again. He actually blamed me for it, and I believed it was my fault for a while. My friend Sam keeps telling me that real men are not like that, but Sam is the only exception that I have met. Even Lindsey’s boyfriend Sean has some similarities to Nick.
“So why are you eating this crap” ask Lindsey.
“Where do I start?…Well…I met the man of my dreams and he’s kinda jerky”.
“You lost me Jenna, What? What guy? When? Where? Rewind”.
“Today. This morning. At the photo shoot. The headshots were for this Adonis of a man. I mean seriously Lindsey, the guy was so unbelievably good looking, that all I could think of was the line from Just Friends where Ferris tells Reynolds she want to lick his skin off. I could really see me ripping his pants off right there.”
Laughing she ask “So why is he a jerk?”
“He just was…sort of…but not really”.
I explained the encounter to Lindsey trying not to leave out a single detail so that she can offer some solid insight.
“Maybe he likes you” she suggest.
Real insightful Lindsey!
“I thought that at first, but then the whole ‘that’s enough’ comment while I adjusted his tie screams back off, not interested. So for tonight…in my dreams, he will be just as good looking…only mute.”
We both just laughed, it’s not the first time I wished for a mute man, or her first time for that matter.
“Let’s eat before it gets cold, wanna pop in a movie and grab some wine? I suggest.
Lindsey is on board and grabs the wine while I rummage through shelves of DVDs and Blu-rays trying to find a fun chick flick. I end up with Just Friends, seeing that’s all I can think about now.
“Jenna…really?…again? How many times can we watch that?”
“A lot, don’t act like it’s not one of your favorite movies too. Now come here and give me a ‘body shake’.” We can’t stop laughing.
“Listen though, if I fall asleep on the couch again, please wake my ass up so I can go to bed. I can’t keep going into work late”. We make it through the movie and are both wide awake from the amount of junk food we ate and from the non-stop laughing the movie caused. It doesn’t help that I can’t stop thinking about him. “I need this guy off my mind Lindsey, help me” I beg.
“Why would you want this guy off your mind? It’s been about a year since you’ve moved in, and this is the first time you’ve mentioned any interest in any man since fuckface. It’s about time!”
“Because it’s taken this long for me to be comfortable being me again. I like me single. I wear what I want, say what I want, and do what I want. I can’t lose me again. This guy…I feel like I could lose me with this guy.”
“You were only twenty when you met Nick, you moved in together less than a year of dating each other. Way too fucking quick! Be twenty four and just fuck this guy! Flirt with him! Tease Him! Be friends with benefits! You don’t have to date him or fucking marry him, but fucking move on!”
“Jesus Christ Lindsey, stop yelling at me. I get it.”
Lindsey starts to giggle “Was that too much? Too dramatic? I was trying to give you ‘the big speech’. As long as you get what I’m saying. Just have fun. You know I love you, whatever you want, I’m there. For now, lets at least see if there is any info online about him.”
“How is that suppose to help me?”
“I don’t know, but I want see what he looks like, and it sounds like fun. Maybe he’s gay, or has a girlfriend, or isn’t as good looking as you remember.” I humor her and we decide to start our search. There is only a minimal amount of information on him. We basically learn that he just turned thirty, he is straight, well… we assume he’s straight because there is a photo of him with a girl on his arm. We also confirm that he is undoubtedly one of the best looking guys we’ve ever seen. He is on my mind even more now than he was earlier, but I go to bed hoping I might not have to see him again at all, it will be easier that way. Maybe the whole…out of sight out of mind thing will work and I can move on from my lusty thoughts.
Yah, right! So much for sleep.
“Hello,” I say groggily into my phone.
“Good morning Sunshine,” I hear Michael singing into the other end. “Did I wake you up?”
Sarcastically I say, “No, I sound this way because I’m wide awake, you seem very gay this morning, and by that I mean happy…and gay. Why are you so chipper? And what do you want?”
It’s not like Michael to call so early. Especially when he knows I will be in the office at some point this morning. The way he sang “good morning” into the phone was also a clue that he wants something from me. After a little more banter back and forth. He confesses that he needs a favor. He goes on to tell me that Jim was ill all night, he will not be able to assist him at the mixer event tonight like planned. The reason for the call is to beg me to help out. I’m reluctant at first because it will make for a very long day. Michael gives me the okay to come in late, in hopes of enticing me. I’m running late as it is, so it’s not that enticing. He also promises me that I won’t have to work the entire time I’m there, or lift anything heavy. He just needs me to take some candid shots here and there. This event is really more of a networking, meet and greet for various vendors and businesses around Boston. Not only to show off the facility, but to attract new customers and gain clients. Michael is a guest as well as the photographer for the night. They refer a lot of business our way so Michael is doing the job as a favor and is expected to enjoy the evening as well. I’ve been to a few vendor type parties at the State Room, but usually as an employee, not a guest. So I am excited to take part in the festivities and enjoy some drinks and dancing.
Looking at the time, I knew I would be late for work anyway, but knowing I didn’t have to pretend to rush, was a relief. I assured Michael that I would help out tonight and be in as soon as possible. The schedule is full today, and without Jim there, Michael will have to do everything on his own until I arrive. Before we hang up he suggest that I bring something nice to wear for the evening. The more I think about things to come, the more excited I get. It will be a nice change of pace from just working all the time.
I catch Lindsey before she takes off for work, seeing if she can bring me to the train station on her morning break, and to see if she can pick me up from there tonight. This way, I don’t have to worry about having a few drinks. I am so grateful to have a friend like her. She is more than happy to bring me and pick me up. Telling me it will be good for me to get out, even if its just professionally . She is quick to remind me that I could meet someone there too, so I should look extra good.
Rushing to my closest, she picks out “The Dress” and my “Fuck You” shoes. “The Dress” is the first sexy thing I bought after I left Nick. A dress he would have never let me wear if we were together. He would have made his usual remark to a dress like this, “looks like you’re working Jenna.” I can still hear that phrase whenever I put on something that shows a little skin. He would say that every time I tried to dress up or show my figure in any way, implying I looked like a call girl or hooker, basically slutty in his eyes. “The Dress” is what Lindsey and I labeled it. It needed a name, it deserved a name. It was my impulsive fuck you, I’ll wear what I want purchase, and instead of the classic fuck me pumps that most women have, we dubbed them, the “Fuck You” shoes, it seemed fitting at the time. The shoes were a splurge for me, costing about a week’s pay, but indulging for a change was priceless. Lindsey made me buy them to go with “The Dress”. As of today, I have worn neither the dress nor the shoes, the tags are still attached. I haven’t had the opportunity or the courage to wear them, but my confidence is coming back, and thinking about Lead makes me feel sexy again, like there is a reason to be hopeful.
“The Dress”; although sexy, is still classy and would be perfect for tonight’s event. It’s a form fitting little black dress that is cut just above my knees. The bottom half of the dress has very subtle ruffles, while the upper half is a sleeveless halter style that ties around my neck, leaving my upper back exposed. It also has some rhinestones just below breast, which draw attention to the base of the plunging neckline. I am happy I finally have a reason to wear the strappy “Fuck You” shoes. They will no doubt kill my feet, especially while working, but I love them! They are a pair of stiletto heels wrapped in a black satin material. They have straps that runs across the toes, and cuffs that go around the ankle; adorned by a bow where the zipper fastens in the back. I look forward to dressing up tonight, but am experiencing a bittersweet moment. I am somewhat happy that Jim can’t make it so that I can go in his place, but I wish him being sick wasn’t the cause. I am anxious to put all this on later, but for now, I just throw on some black slacks, a black top, and some matching black flats. Black is my signature color , my go to hue.
Today has been non-stop busy with back to back appointments. My day started at eleven o’clock with four separate family photo sessions, they all came in early too, leaving no breathers in between. We then had two engagement sessions, the first couple looked very in love and had no problems with PDA. They were fun to photograph and to be around. Their giddiness was contagious, it had Michael and I laughing and joking around, it really took some of the stress of the morning away. The second couple, unfortunately just seemed annoyed with each other. After spending only seconds with them, I felt like their marriage probably wouldn’t last. They were in an out of here fast, like they were in a rush to just get it over with. Although they were both attractive and looked like they belonged together, they were so un-affectionate towards one another that I couldn’t even imagine what their future could hold. I felt sad for them, for not having a connection to the person you are suppose to spend the rest of your life with. The only good thing about them, was that they left earlier than expected, leaving me more time to get ready before heading to the mixer.
Michael patiently waits for me to put myself together. I enjoy getting dolled up and wearing makeup. This is the first time since I’ve known Michael that I really went all out with my appearance. I typically dress my figure down at work, not that I’m required too, but I feel like it is the right thing to do. I meet with engaged couples mostly, I don’t think it would be appropriate to flaunt my body in front of another woman’s husband-to-be. I am by nature, and with cause; thanks to Nick, a jealous person. I hated when attractive women were around him when we were dating, so I try to be mindful of my appearance around other women, especially in front of their men.
Michael’s reaction when I get out of the changing room in the studio makes me a little self conscious. I wonder briefly if I should change. It’s strange that even after a year of being Nick free, I still feel too exposed at times. Michael assures me that I look beautiful and shouldn’t change a thing. He told me that if he wasn’t so in love with Jim that I could turn him straight. He puts me at ease instantly. I decide that I am going to embrace the new old me tonight and own this outfit. It’s good to feel like myself again. In the past; pre-Nick, I wouldn’t have even thought twice about dressing to please anyone but myself, so tonight shouldn’t be any different.
When we arrive at the mixer, the first thing on my agenda is to find appetizers to help get me through the next few hours. There are many more people here than I expected, it’s difficult to navigate through the crowd with the camera while wearing these friggin’ heels. About an hour into taking photos, Michael tells me that we are good to call it a night as far as work is concerned. He will grab some shots of the dancing when that begins, but otherwise we are good. I get the okay from him to grab a drink and have fun.
I see some videographers we typically work with, so I make my way over to them after ordering a Sangria at the bar. A few drinks later, I have my happy on and I feel good. Working my way through the room, speaking to just about everyone I come across. I glance up and I see him. I pause and stare at the beautiful man in my line of sight. Knowing that he doesn’t know I’m looking at him, I continue to undress him with my eyes. I suddenly feel very voyeuristic as I watch him. Even the way his body moves during the conversation he is having seems very sexual. He is dressed casually, in gray trousers and a black cashmere sweater that hugs his body, showing his defined physique. I am feeling braver than normal so I move towards him, then his eyes catch mine. I think I let out a heavy sigh, but I am not sure since the music is humming in the background. I feel my smile starting to get bigger than I would prefer, I stop dead in my tracks; like a deer in headlights at the sight I see in the distance behind him. I lose my breath all over again, more like hyperventilate. It’s Nick. I think he sees me, but I am too afraid to look back at him or Lead as I search for Michael.
“Michael, I can’t breathe. He’s here, Nick is here. Shit! What do I do?.”
Michael had the pleasure of meeting Nick a few times while we were together. He was patient with me during our break up, letting me have all the time off I needed to get away from him. Michael and Jim even helped with boxes while I was moving in with Lindsey. Michael never cared for Nick, he’s told me multiple times how much happier I seem, how much more fun I am to be around now that I say what’s on my mind.
“Jenna, I’m sorry. I didn’t think he would be here. I saw him at the last wedding I did with Jim downtown. He was DJing the event with Ever Entertainment, a new DJ of theirs. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to upset you. I even made some calls, checking to make sure you and I had no weddings coming up that he would be at. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
I’m stunned by Michael’s admission, I don’t know what to say. I feel betrayed, but I understand why he wouldn’t say anything at the same time. Last I heard, Nick was still pursuing his career with his so called band. I didn’t know he was DJing now, and in my fucking circle! I search my drunken mind, trying to comprehend what emotion I think I should be feeling about seeing Nick. Fear? Depression? Anger? Irritation? Bat Shit Crazy? I decide to go with…Unaffected. The feeling won’t come naturally, but I know I can force it. I don’t want Nick to have any power over how I feel. I will just avoid him, I’m a big girl. The best thing I can do is act like his presence doesn’t bother me, and just try to enjoy my night, show him that I am happier without him, which I am.
Michael looks over my shoulder and says, “Hello, Mr. Steel, it’s a pleasure to see you again.”
I am so distracted by my thoughts of Nick, I don’t realize Lead is behind me. I can’t even manage to say hello when Lead says hi to me. I quickly recover and slide back into work mode.
“Oh. Sorry, Mr. Steel. I didn’t mean to be rude. Hello.”
I just stand there between Michael and Lead, both of their voices muffled out by my loud thoughts.
“Jenna, Jenna!” I’m snapped from my daze as Michael calls my name.
While looking over my other shoulder, he quietly says, “stay calm.”
I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand at the sound of Nick’s voice.
“Hello, Michael, good to see you again” Nick says while extending his hand to Michael.
Go away…go away…go away
Michael reluctantly shakes his hand but doesn’t say a word. Nick slowly looks me up and down, taking his time, making me very uncomfortable. With a raised eyebrow and smug smirk he finally speaks.
“Jenna, haven’t seen you in a long time. ‘Looks like you’re working’ again”.
Ahhhh. Fucking die, you fucking, fuck!
I can actually picture, taking my stiletto, and puncturing his fucking jugular. I hate him so much.
The asshole just told me I look like a whore because of what I’m wearing. I start to feel myself physically shrink, I hang my head, ashamed, and embarrassed. I don’t say anything. The time is just filled with silence. I want to scream; but Lead is standing there, and this is a business affair. I go to step away before my tears start to fall.
Michael fills the silence and says, “Don’t let us keep you Nick.”
Giving him the brush off. Lead chimes in, clearly aware that something is going on.
“Yes, don’t let us keep you, Dick.”
Before Nick has a chance to say anything in response to being called Dick, Lead puts his hand on my bare back saying, “let me get you a drink,” and ushers me away.
“Yes. A drink. That sounds great. I could use another drink,” I agree.
Lead still has his hand on my back when we approach the bar, it is a welcoming touch that I need, crave, to help me take my mind off of what just happened. His protective demeanor is all I need to keep my tears at bay. Before Lead has a chance to ask me, I tell the bartender I want two shots of whiskey; I hate whiskey, but I want something that will have a quick effect, so I suck it up, and choke back the shot.
That’s fucking disgusting.
Lead assumes one shot is for him and he grabs it off the bar.
“So what was that about back there? Anything I can help with?” Lead ask getting ready to take my shot.
This is the last thing I want to talk about, tonight, with him. Not sure what it is with him wanting to help me each time he sees me. Maybe he knows I’m damaged, like easy prey, someone he can take advantage of. I sadly don’t care what it is. I came here to have fun tonight, I don’t want to let talking about Nick ruin my night. I need someone to help me forget, and Lead makes me forget how to breathe, so forgetting Nick should be easy. I bravely grab the other shot of whiskey from his hand; spilling it a little, I down it, telling him I ordered them both for me. Without answering his question about what was going on back there with Nick, I tell him that I just want to dance tonight, not talk, hoping that he will bring me to the dance floor. Without a word he does, and thanks to my comfortable drunk state, my inhibitions are gone, so I dance like we are the only two in the room.
When I feel Lead grab me, the thoughts of Nick cutting me down and insulting me, start to exit my mind, leaving me thinking of Lead and Lead only. The guy can move, and I mean really move. He has me all over the dance floor, yet I feel like we haven’t moved since we are so close to each other. He commands my body with the simple pull of his hand, leading me in any direction he wants, taking complete control. Lead can lead, the thought of Lead leading makes me smile at how unusual his name really is. He sees me smiling, I appreciate his silence, as he just smiles back and pulls me in tight towards him as a slower tempo song comes on. I feel like my body is on fire from the heat that is radiating off of him. I could combust at any moment and I wouldn’t even mind. Without a word, I feel like a lot is being said through his body language, by the way he is looking at me, and only me. I can hear him breathing, letting out a growl like he’s ready to pounce. He looks down at me, stares into my eyes, licking his lips as he brings his head lower. With his lips only an inch from mine, I feel the warm air from his mouth dangerously close.
Yes, kiss me.
I’m not sure what to make of what’s about to happen, I feel like I would do anything he wanted right now, and that scares me…a lot. Against everything I’m feeling, I back away; thank him for the dancing, and practically run away. I quickly make my way through the crowd to tell Michael I’m leaving before I miss the next train back. I glance behind me when I get to the exit, I see Lead’s eyes fixed on me, smiling at me, watching me go.
Thank god it’s Friday and I am happy to say that even slightly hung over, I made it to work on time today. I do wish I came in late though since I have to assist on a wedding later today that will go until at least midnight.
The morning drags by at a snails pace, while I shuffle through papers and touch up some photos from yesterday. Michael comes into my office and hands me the files for Mr. Set My Body On Fire, while letting me know that Mr. Steels office called earlier, he wants me to go through the photos with him to offer my opinion on which images to choose. So much for my plan of trying to avoiding him. This is why you shouldn’t mix business with pleasure, especially pleasure like Lead. When I see him later I will just be…professional…yes, professional. I can do that. Sure. I will just need to find a way to remove that take me now feeling I have, remembering his body up against mine. The way his arms guided me. The way my panties practically fell off at his slightest touch. The way he almost kissed me. Yeah. Should be fucking easy to forget.
Michael thinks its a great idea I go through the photos with Lead since “Mr. Steel is good for business.” This will also give me the opportunity to get his order together while I’m there.
Michael and I chat for a little while. He wants to know how I’m handling the whole Nick thing. I’m truthful with him. Letting him know that I have a ton of mixed emotions. On one hand, I’m nervous that I might run into him at a wedding now that he is DJing. On the other hand, I feel like if I face my fear I can maybe overcome it. I quickly scratch that idea from my mind, reminding myself about how I almost fell apart last night, and that was from just one snide comment. Michael is quick to reiterate that he checked our upcoming events, making sure Nick wouldn’t be DJing at any of them.
He wraps me in a hug. I appreciate how much closer we have become over the last year. To think, I kept my distance from Michael and Jim due to Nick’s jealousy. No matter how many times I pointed out that they were gay, Nick thought it didn’t matter because they were still guys.
“I just don’t want you to stress out Jenna,” he says while still hugging me.
“I really appreciate it, you are too good to me,” I say smiling at him and quote, “is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me.”
Noticing something bulging near his pocket.
“It’s the battery pack for my camera you perv, but I admit you were turning me on a little. Must be all your manly features.”
I jokingly make a shocked expression saying, “Ouch, you hurt my feeling.”
“You mean feelings,” he says, adding the S.
“No, just the one.” I say laughing.
We talk a little more, focusing on his upcoming trip out to California with Jim. They will be flying out next Friday night for a wedding on Saturday, coming back the following Friday. Typically they come right back, but they are squeezing in some vacation this time around. They have been flying to California about twice a month to shoot weddings. A very sought after wedding planner and word of mouth, has kept them very busy out there.
After Michael leaves my office, I load the disk he gave me onto my computer.
Stop staring at me Mr. ‘That’s Enough’.
I spend a good amount of time staring at Lead, and a short amount of time actually working. I only have to pretty up the photos. After some quick color enhancements, and cropping, I load the images onto my laptop so that Mr. Dances Dangerously Close can have a handful of images to look at, and choose from. Now that his gorgeous face is forever is sketched on my brain, I find that I can’t concentrate on the rest of my to do list. I think now is probably a good time to stop for lunch and regroup.
I head over to the deli around the corner and find an open table outside.
“Hello,” I say.
“Hey,” the voice of my good friend Sam replies when I answer my phone.
“I’m just calling to let you know, we are good for next weekend, my parent are cool with us using their place, let Lindsey know when you get home.”
“Why don’t you just call, and tell her yourself?”
I love getting him worked up about Lindsey. So I tease him more.
“You know you love her Sam, just tell her already, so we can all move on.”
“You’re such a bitch sometimes Jenna.”
“Well, that’s why you love me,” I say, as I laugh asking him, “are you working the bar tonight?”
“Yes I am.”
“Awesome, I’ll be around the corner at The State Room, so maybe I will stop by after to see ya.”
“Sounds good Jenna. Call me later. I gotta go.”
“Okay, Bye Sam.”
Sam Remy has been my friend since high school. We met at a football game, during my freshmen year, he was a junior. Right before he was about to head on the field to play, his girlfriend at the time, broke up with him. I had the unfortunate privilege of witnessing it. Awkward .
He took it alright, but I could see the hurt in his eyes. I felt strange having overheard it all, so I made a joke, saying “she probably broke it off with you because you’re too good looking, and most likely an animal in bed, girls don’t like that sort of stuff.” He busted out laughing, it definitely took care of the silence. We’ve been hanging out ever since that unfortunate, fortunate day.
We tried to force more between us, thinking that it was the natural progression. It so wasn’t. We realized after kissing once, we were better friends than lovers. Don’t get me wrong, Sam is a very good looking guy; hot is the word most people, including myself would use. He has a lean athletic body without too much bulk; but muscular, blue eyes, sandy hair, and golden tan skin . I call him my “smart, good looking friend.”
He’s still in school, studying be a doctor of some sort. He is the kind of guy, most girls dream about. He is in lust with Lindsey. He has never admitted it to me directly, but I can tell from the way he always wants to be around her, finding any reason to touch her. He would do anything for her. I try not to meddle because Lindsey has a boyfriend, regardless of what I think of him. I hope one day, Lindsey and Sam will get together and eventually hook up.
When I’m done with lunch, I slowly walk back to the office, hoping I can absorb some much needed sunshine, knowing I will be indoors for most of the day.
The next hour goes by quick, and before I know it, it’s time to head out and head over to State St. I leave before Michael so that I can drop off a signature board at The State Room, to ensure that they will have time to display it before the wedding starts. I also need to make sure I have enough time to bring the images to Going Natural for Mr. Wonderful to take a look at.
Breathe Jenna, breathe, he’s just a guy.
After dropping off the signature board, and leaving my photo equipment in a holding room, I nervously make my way up the elevator. The receptionist has me take a seat back in the waiting room. I’m sure Ms. Butterface will come get me soon enough to take me to her leader. After sitting there for about ten minutes, I hear the door behind me open, I get up and turn to follow and am struck by those amazing slate eyes.
Close your mouth Jenna.
“Ms. Valentine, good to see you again. Follow me.”
I follow along like I’ve been ordered to do, appreciating the view while I’m at it.
Mmm Mmm Mmm.
He opens the door to his office, stepping aside so that I can enter first, but he doesn’t leave much room, forcing me to brush up against him a little bit. I gladly accept the cheap thrills, but wonder why he didn’t just open the door all the way. The office looks different than it did on Wednesday, maybe because I am fully aware that today, it’s just the two of us in the oversized room, and the sun is setting . I am so happy when he doesn’t mention last night, maybe I’m too much work for him, too screwed up for his liking, not easy like he might of hoped. Maybe he realized, I was drunk. I relax and focus on work.
“Where can I setup my laptop,” I ask.
“Sit on the couch, use the coffee table, I will be right there,” he says as he rifles through some papers on his desk.
While I’m setting up, I feel like he is looking at me. I shift my eyes up slightly from my screen hoping to not be noticed. I see that I’m right, he is looking right at me. I quickly look back down, not really sure why I feel so uncomfortable.
Shit, why is he staring at me, look away already.
“Everything is set up and ready Mr. Steel.”
On his way over he dims the office lights.
“That should cut down the glare, right?”
I just nod.
Light a candle and take advantage already.
I pull each image up on the screen offering my opinion, I’m almost positive he isn’t listening, I feel like he’s just humoring me.
Why am I even here?
“Anyway, that’s all of them. Have you decided on which you would like to have printed, and which ones you would like files of?”
“I will take the them all, in digital form and 5×7 prints too,” he answers.
Seriously? Why didn’t you just say that on the phone.
I start to shutdown my computer, and load up my bag.
“Okay then, I will let Michael know. I will bring them by next Friday for you.”
“Yes, I heard Michael mention that you have someplace to go next weekend, where would that be?” he ask.
“I’m heading up north.”
Jesus, brain, you and my mouth need to learn to communicate and do what I say.
I try to be vague, hoping he won’t ask any more.
“Up north?” He says with a raised brow.
“Yes, up north,” I confirm.
The polite thing would be for him to take the hint and not pry.
“Are you being vague on purpose, Ms. Valentine?”
“No. no, don’t want to bore you with the details, that’s all.”
“Well, I don’t ask questions I don’t want the answers to, so let’s try again. Where are you going next weekend?”
I want to walk away. I’m irritated that he didn’t take the hint, but I answer since I’m still at work. I’m also happy he hasn’t mentioned last night, plus I need to remain professional.
“I’m heading up to Weirs beach for four nights with some friends, it’s bike week, we go every year.”
There short and sweet.
“It’s really nice up there, I wouldn’t take you for being a biker kind of girl.”
I feel a little insulted, not sure what he means, even though he’s right.
“Well, I’m not a biker chick, but I do like bikes, and to people watch. I go mostly to take photos, it’s a hobby, the people that come through their are from all walks of life.”
He looks intrigued, but before he has a chance to say anything else, I stand up and head towards the door.
“I will get the door for you Ms. Valentine.”
I look back and say, “I’m all set, I can get it.”
I stop in my tracks.
“I said, I will get the door for you.”
What? Did he just scold me?
I feel like a kid, surprised that he didn’t throw in my middle name, “Jenna Marie!,” like my parents would when I was in trouble.
I’m not some damsel in distress, I know how to open my own damn door, I’m tired of him trying to help me . Screw my job.
“Lead!” I say all snappy with a don’t mess with me kind of look, “I can open a door.”
I think he’s stunned, but he still manages to move forward and grab the door. Before opening it, he give me a smile.
“You really make it hard for a man to be a gentlemen, you should learn to accept help, see you on Friday. Oh, and thank you for the unforgettable dancing.” he says winking.
I feel his hand go to by lower back as he ushers me out, closing the door before I can say anything else. I leave smiling, challenging him about the door was fun, and his comment about the dancing was…to quote him, “unforgettable.”
It’s about one in the morning when the wedding is over and I get back to the parking garage. I say my goodbyes to Michael. I call Sam as I hop in the car to let him know it’s too late to swing by, plus I have a long ride back up to NH. It works out good because he’s on his way out anyway. While we talk I start my car.
Why won’t you start? I don’t need this right now.
“Sam, my car won’t start.”
“I’ll be right there, I’m parked on the lower level, what level are you?”
“I’m on six, near the elevators.” I tell him.
“Alright, give me about ten minutes. I don’t have jumper cables in my car, so check to see if you do while you wait.”
“Okay, see you soon Sam.”
One convenient thing about Boston is that most people are forced to park in parking garages. So it’s pretty nice that Sam works around the corner, having to use the same garage. I pop the hood, and the trunk on my 2003 white convertible Mustang. The car has been pretty good to me considering I bought it on Craigslist with high mileage . It started giving me trouble a couple of weeks ago, it was just a matter of time. While I’m rummaging through my trunk looking for cables, I hear a car slowing down behind me. I nervously pull out my phone and start to text Sam, wanting him to hurry the hell up. I turn around expecting the worse and see none other than Mr. Perfect Timing.
Seriously universe, why do you hate me?
I add, “pretend you’re my boyfriend” to the text I started for Sam and hit send.
“Why, hello Ms. Valentine.” he says while looking me up and down through the drivers side window of his car.
Why is he here so late?
“Mr. Steel. What a coincidence. Hello.”
“Is it?” he replies.
I’m taken back, not really sure how to respond to his comment.
Is he here on purpose? Did he do something to my car? I’m about to be raped! Stranger danger!
I laugh internally at the way my mind works. This isn’t the first time my car wont start, so I just cast a questioning look at him, dismissing the rape thought.
“Looks like you need help Ms. Valentine. I’ll tell you what. Since I’m tired of offering help, and you declining it. How about, you ask me for help, and I will give it to you?”
Yes, give it to me, you smug s.o.b.
I refuse to ask for help, knowing it will make me vulnerable and easy to take advantage of.
“I don’t need your help, but thanks.”
“Really?” he says laughing. “You’re in a parking garage. In Boston. At one in the morning, with your hood open, and you don’t need help? Just ask me for it.”
Hurry up Sam, where the fuck are you?
“Look. Ms. Valentine, are you always going to challenge me when I try to help you? Like you are trying to win some battle against me? Because from here, it looks like you need me, and I’m winning if that’s the case. I’ll sit here all night with you. It’s just a matter of time before you ask.” he says taunting.
The line from Ever After pops to mind, I think, “‘Why do you like to irritate me so? Why do you rise to the occasion?.” I laugh, mostly to myself because he has a huge ego that needs to come down a few notches. Sam pulls up, the timing couldn’t be more perfect. He gets out of the car, plants a kiss on my cheek, and slaps my ass while saying, “hey baby.”
Sam I fucking love you right now.
I let Sam know right away that I don’t have cables, hoping to leave quick. Mr. You Need Me looks pissed. He knows he’s losing this battle. Sam goes to close my hood and trunk.
On my way over to Sam’s car, I lean into Leads window and say “looks like I’m winning.”
I walk away, turning back, I point to myself, then hold up my index finger and mouth, “me one” and “you zero,” forming an O with my hand. I love that he shoots me the biggest grin, I get the feeling that he likes the challenge.
“What was that about Jenna, who was that guy?”
“First off Sam, thank you so much, you know I hate asking for help.”
“We’ll, you didn’t really ask, so don’t mention it.”
“Thanks for the ass slap, nice touch, I haven’t had sex in over a year, that will hold me over.”
I make him blush while we laugh.
“So, I guess I’m crashing on your couch again?”
“Well, I’m not driving you back home tonight, so I guess so. We’ll take care of your car in the morning.”
I tell him about Lead, and my lusty strange obsession. It’s nice to get a guys take on things like this. Of course his only response, is that steel wants in my panties. Thanks for the insight Sam. When it comes to sex, I am definitely more talk than action. I can really take it or leave it, but when I look at Steel, I just want to take, take, take. The idea that he might want in my panties, is enough to make me smile.
Sam’s apartment is nice, he lives right outside of Boston, so it doesn’t take too long to get here. His parents are loaded, although you would never know it if you met them, they are so down to earth and humble. They did however, set him up good. I think they were just so happy that he didn’t stray too far from New Hampshire. He wanted go to college in Boston, they did everything to encourage the idea. I always ask him why he bartends when he clearly doesn’t have to . It’s typically the same response every time, “because I can, and the women are easy.”
I just shake my head and roll my eyes.
Saturday comes too, soon and after waking up on the couch at noon, I feel like It will end quick too. After grabbing some much needed coffee at Dunkin Donuts, we head over to my car with jumpers in hand this time. As I climb into my drivers seat to pop the hood, I’m faced with a note on my windshield that reads, “Challenge accepted. -LS.” I nearly spit my coffee out, I am instantly plastered with a perma-grin. I can actually feel my heart pounding with excitement. I will say though, Lead is pretty presumptuous to assume I will play along, especially after seeing that I have a boyfriend. Well… Sam isn’t my boyfriend, but he doesn’t know that. I’m hesitant to partake in his game. That fact that he’s flirting, knowing I have a boyfriend , makes me wonder how many girlfriends he currently has. I’m sure the flirt will be fun, but I’m against having boyfriends with girlfriends, so this might not go far. Even still, Friday can’t get here soon enough so I can see him again.
THAT’S IT FOR NOW
If you have taken the time to read up to here, thank you. Feel free to comment.
If you want to read more then leave a comment on my Goodreads account as well as here, this way you will get updates if I add a chapter. I honestly have no intentions of posting more of the book publicly unless I have enough people requesting it.