52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 38

finmrlost

‘Stranded’ Self-Portrait

The photography theme for week 38 was ‘Lost’.  This was definitely a theme that I could identify with.  In life, I question what I’m doing and where I’m going quite often.

Always stuck between this is exactly where I should be and I should be over ‘there’ doing more. Wherever “there” is. I over-think the fuck out of everything, EVERYTHING!

When I’m lost it’s usually because I’m trapped in my own little mind, searching for some new direction to go in, or waiting for my ship to come in, as if one day I’ll wake up and suddenly be great at everything I feel quite mediocre at.  When in reality I’m not perfect, no one is!

 

What I do know is that I fail quite often, as a mother, wife, photographer, crafter. Yet… my kids are happy, my husband is satisfied (wink, wink), my photography improves constantly, and my crafts sell, so that has to tell me something, right?  Yeah, yeah it does… I’m pretty fucking awesome exactly where I am.  Time to get out of my own head and enjoy the beach I’m on! I was trying to get all metaphoric there, but that sounds kind of cheesy, you know what the fuck I mean though. :p

So glad I had this little pep talk with myself. I needed that.

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

 

 

 

 

 

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52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 22

mr2

“Shut up and dance with me!” Self-Portrait

The theme for this weeks photo is ‘Sound’.

It’s Friday, so I decided to dance around like a fool in celebration. What about the weekend am I celebrating you ask? Oh, you didn’t ask. That’s okay, because I really don’t celebrate the weekends anyways. It was a lie, all lies!!!

I’m a mom, I don’t get weekends you silly dork!

I do like to dance around the house in the morning when everyone is asleep though. I  celebrate the silence, because silence is golden, like a nice warm golden shower. Um…erm anyways… that got awkward, but hey, speaking of being pee’d on. Don’t do it! Stop it!

No, I really don’t care if you’re into that, unless you are randomly peeing on people that are not into it, that just makes you a douche. Don’t be a douche. Although a douche would be better than pee.

Oh dear, sometimes I should plan out what I’m going to say before I start typing.

goldenshowers496

…and no, jelly fish stings are not an exception, just a myth. So stop looking for excuses to pee on people! Geez! :p

If anything, we learned:

I don’t celebrate the weekends.

I don’t want to be pee’d on.

I’d rather be douched?

Only pee on people that consent to it.

Jelly fish stings are not the exception.

Not having a plan, keeps it real!

 

Now come on, SHUT UP AND DANCE with me!

 

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

 

 

 

Me? Write a Guest Post?

Who me

While I have always enjoyed writing, I’ve never considered myself a writer, and I still don’t.  The world of blogging is new to me, not like I just learned what the hell blogging is, but having my own blog has been a new experience.  So I was surprised when I received an invitation to write a guest post over at www.funlovegoodsex.com.   While I was flattered, I was also left wondering if I would disappoint with what I have to offer in terms of advice.  Half the time I walk around clueless about everything, just acting like I know what the fuck I’m talking about.  However, once I started typing, I dove in and really enjoyed the process of writing with purpose.  It was nice to have a prompt and a reason to type. There are many days when my mind runs busy with ideas, but by the time I sit to get them out, they have either passed or just aren’t relevant anymore.

I had my husband read the article I wrote to get his advice on the content, and even though he thought it was good advice, he didn’t think I came across as being funny like I usually am.  So I left his ass…..but only for a few minutes to go to the store, I came back, but only for sex.  What can I say?….. I’m weak, and it’s really good sex.

So if you would like my “not real funny” opinion on “How to Get Your Wife to Want Sex With You”, or if you just want to see what I wrote, then show some love over at www.funlovegoodsex.com and read my post.  The site has some interesting advice on various topics.  I even learned what the term “pegging” means, which is not what I thought it meant.  Feeling inspired to share my opinions on the subject though, so stay tuned.

 

“Type hard!  Like you mean it!”

Masturbate or wait?

“It’s either you or me that I’m having sex with later.”

What’s wrong with that? Seems fair.

People have needs.  Masturbating is completely normal, healthy, and when done right…..amazing!

And let’s not forget the biggest pro.

You can be completely selfish.

Dear Dye ~ Should I masturbate, or wait for my partner to put out?

Just because you have someone willing to have sex with you from time to time, doesn’t mean that you should have to wait until the mood strikes them to feel satisfied.  There is no harm in taking matters into your own hands, especially if your partner is not on the same page as you.

Think of it like ordering an appetizer at your favorite restaurant.  Just because you are about to be served a steak dinner, doesn’t mean you can’t indulge a little with bread-sticks and salad.  It will keep your hunger at bay while waiting.

Just don’t overdo it and ruin your appetite.

When the main dish is brought to the table, you should still have a desire to not only eat it, but finish it. Wink, wink 😉

mastubate

“When it comes to masturbating, there are two types of people, those that do it, and liars.”

                                                                                                                           

“Type hard! Like you mean it”

Why she doesn’t want sex with you

asshole

I have had this conversation with a handful of men and women.  Usually the men are complaining about not getting it enough, and the women about not wanting to give it.

I’m am going to use the term ‘wife’ in this post but it really applies to your non-sexual, sexual partner, regardless of their label.

Dear Dye ~ Why doesn’t my wife want sex with me?

You are probably an asshole.  Have you considered that?

There are many different things that could contribute to you being an asshole.  I’m not just implying that for no reason.

This is an old debate, one that you no doubt already know the answer to. Men need to be nice.  Not just “I want sex” nice, but always nice.  Once you have crossed that line from being the nice guy to being the asshole– good fucking luck turning that around.  I’m not saying there is no hope for you, but I am strongly suggesting that, that might be the case.

Chances are, your wife used to want sex with you, but somewhere along the way you started expecting it.  Silly, silly man!

I’m not just talking out my ass, I’ve been on both sides of this fence.  I have always been a sexual person, I enjoy sex, need it and look forward to it.  I spent 11 years with an asshole, and stopped liking it, wanting it or needing it.  This isn’t a rant about me pointing out my Ex’s flaws, honestly…it is a bonus though, an enjoyable side effect if you will, but not the purpose of this post.

As a woman, I don’t want to be asked for sex all the time.  I don’t want to be harassed about it either or made to feel like it’s my job…my wifely duty.  I have that mind set, the more you ask for it…the less I want to give it.  Not sure why, but it’s like saying “can you wash the dishes?”, when I already plan on it–don’t tell me what to do.  I know my job.  Not that sex is a job, but I want to have it when I want, not when I’m told to.

This might be a relatable comparison.  You are on your way to take out the trash, your wife says, “hey, can you take out the trash”– now it feels like you are doing it because she told you to, even though you were on your way to do it anyway.  Who wants to be told what to do? not many people.

Some helpful tips:

Stop fucking asking for it.  I know what you are going to say, “If I don’t ask, I’ll never get it”.  That’s not true, but you can’t say “hey honey, I haven’t even asked for it in a month” or “look how good I’ve been, I haven’t even asked”.  That’s the same as asking and woman aren’t that stupid where they can’t see through your bullshit.  In the time that you are not asking for it, why don’t you try to do some nice things, like complimenting your wife.  Taking care of the little things.  Go build something!

Another thing that will not help your cause.  If your wife isn’t comfortable with her body, stop asking her to put on something sexy or suggesting that she wears something revealing.  Women have body issues and the last thing we want to do is have to explain it.  It actually makes women feel less sexy when they can’t wear what you want.

Have confidence, a man that whines or drones on saying things like “why don’t you want me?” or “don’t you find me attractive?” is incredibly un-sexy.  Grow some balls and be a man about it.  Most women want a man that is sure of himself, don’t confuse this with being an asshole.  There is such a thing as over-confident.

Now, that being said—some women just want to be taken.  Not raped, dumbass– but taken.  Treated a little bit more dirty, like you just can’t get enough of her.  Push her up against the wall and don’t ask, just do it.  Keep in mind though that you should be able to read the situation before you try this approach.  Women are ‘complicated’, so don’t try this approach if your wife is on her way out, in the middle of something that is important to her, just got all pretty to leave the house or if she is in a pissy mood.  Ya, good luck trying to guess which mood she’s in.

Depending on your wife, reverse psychology can work too.  Does she have low self-esteem.  Sadly this one works on me, I know who I am.

My husband has always told me that I’m out of his league, he makes me feel sexier than I really am.  At the same time, I hate when he says no to me.  I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but no one has ever said no to having sex with me (that does sound conceited).  Let’s face it, men will have sex with just about anything, at anytime.  So to hear no, is just a slap in the face.  Drives me up a fucking wall, I don’t like hearing no.  I will try everything I can to get him to say yes.  Now I don’t know if he does this on purpose, maybe he is some evil genius…muhahahaha.

My ex-husband always asked for it.  He would make me feel like that was my job and that is what I was put on this earth to do.  I got to a point where I just went through the motions but didn’t enjoy it after a while.  It became routine and annoying, I really did like the sex actually, but not with someone that was an asshole.

My current husband? No, not an asshole.  Nice to me all the time, and does the little things to make my days brighter.  Also, he doesn’t always want sex, which is probably why I always want it.  Come to think of it, I wonder if I pressure him? Ha! I don’t care.

So if you try all of these and fail, you are more than likely doing it wrong.  My suggestion would be to get her toys, then learn to jerk off.  Hey, I’m not a fucking therapist, were you expecting quality advice?

Good luck by the way.

“Type hard! Like you mean it”