photography ~Mortality~

cropmr

‘Mortality’ Self-portrait

 

“It was the possibility of darkness that made the day seem so bright.”-Stephen King

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

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Be grateful

 

Just a message to be grateful for the time you have with your children, it could end any minute. 

This morning I was getting annoyed about a comment my daughter made while we were waiting at the bus stop.   She told me “don’t come into my class when you pick me up”, because it would embarrass her.  She usually takes the bus home, today she had a doctors appointment so I would have to go to the school to get her.  After she got on the bus and left for the day, I just started getting more and more irritated by the remark.  First of all, I’m a pretty cool mom, I mean look at the shit I talk about, right? 

I admit, I do try to embarrass her on purpose.  It’s fun and easy to do. I don’t need an excuse, I’m the mom—-that’s why.

Anyway, while I was stewing I realize that tomorrow my daughter would be 11 years old and 17 days.  I know that doesn’t sound like anything significant to you, but to me; that’s how old my brother was when he died, exactly 11 years old and 17 days.  I was young when it happened, and as much as I remember the day, I am grateful that I couldn’t comprehend what was going on at the time.  The thought brought tears to my eyes, I can’t even imagine what it would be like to lose a child.  I have no doubt that my mother would go through years of being ‘annoyed’ just to have my brother back in her life.  So I decided to just let the comment slide off my back, because if something were to happen to my daughter I wouldn’t want my last thoughts to be filled with irritation.  The remark was trivial on the scale of things.  So when I picked her up from school, I gave her a hug….but not in front of anyone like I normally would have done to embarrass her.

Choose your battles and make sure they are worth it.

“Type hard! Like you mean it!”

poetry “Toxic Waters”

The torment in the depth of your soul
It runs deeper than the abyss
I want nothing more than to release the demons caught in your net
This dark place has become a pool of comfort for you
You’ve got your hold on me, I can’t see.
I know if we come up together, the air is what we need
I try to lead you there. I try
Instead you pull me under with you
I fight to escape
I’m fighting for air, fighting to breathe, fighting to live…to be free
I’m in too deep
You take my last breath