My list of Must-do’s when taking a sexy photo.

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‘Ricochet’ Self-Portrait

One of the many things I love about photography, self-portraits in particular, is that you can tell any story you want about yourself.  It’s as simple as a costume change, makeup, pose, hair, etc.  Me? I thoroughly enjoy getting all dolled up and letting my sexy side show.  I thought about just posting the above photograph and leaving it at that, because… damn… I look fucking good. Right? I’m so modest. lol

But I don’t always look like this, it takes work to look sexy in an image.

I thought I’d share some of my ‘must do’s’, ways I like to convey sex appeal in my self-portraits:

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Step 1: Finger in the mouth. People love fingers in the mouth, and anything that draws attention to the lips.

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Step 2: Sexy eyes. Eye contact is important!

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Step 3: Push tits together…because, well…who doesn’t like cleavage? It’s like saying, “Look! Another place to put your dick.”

If you’ve learned anything, I hope it’s that you realized—the sexiest thing you can do is just be your damn self. Even if you look like an idiot most of the time, like I usually do. Trying to keep it real. Enjoy!

 

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

What’s the Frequency?

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Benzedrine ~ Self-Portrait

Like most of you know, I’ve been avoiding as much news and online garbage since November.  Well… recently I’ve been reminded as to why.  I caught myself trying to decipher a few news stories that conflicted with each other.  After reading pages upon pages, trying to figure out the actual facts, I started to go a bit crazy.  What happened to true journalism? I’d love to just get the story and decide for myself how I feel about it, without everyone trying to shove their own views onto me.  I get it, William Tager, I fucking get it!

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

‘Dismissed’

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‘Dismissed’ Self-Portrait

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Didn’t expect my first self portrait of 2017 to be kind of depressing looking. Geez! I hope this isn’t a sign of things to come this year. :/

I was actually in a decent mood when I took this.  Of course, it was only 7am and everyone was still asleep, so I had no reason to be blah….yet.  As the day went on however….BLAH!  Maybe subconsciously I knew that when the the kids woke up they would act like awful demon spawns sent here to test every ounce of patience I had “kids”.  Ah…yes, my little angels! By the end of the day I was run ragged.  Didn’t help that I also felt old yesterday, I don’t usually feel that way, but I’m starting to notice how gravity is taking over my face, and I hate it. Thank goodness for make up, and Photoshop, and boobs that distract people from looking at my face. Even I, in this photo am staring down at my boobs, thinking “you’re all that’s saving me, don’t let me down, boobs!”

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

Dirty Laundry

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‘Dirty Laundry’ ~ Self-Portrait

I received a new Batman shirt (from my hubby) and socks for Christmas, so naturally I had to show my appreciation for them.  Does it matter that I bought the socks for myself and put them in my own stocking? No, it doesn’t. Look at me appreciating my gifts! 😀

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

 

Muah!

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‘Muah’ Self-Portrait

Guess what day it is?…..

It’s National Chocolate day! Duh!  So here’s a photo of some chocolate for you.

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“A kiss never tasted is forever and ever wasted.”

And…..

It’s Humpday!

Fine, you were right the first time.

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

 

 

No news is good news.

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Self-Portrait

Ever need to get away from it all and unplug for a little bit?

Two weeks ago I decided to just go ahead and do it, and I couldn’t be happier about my decision.  Now I’m not talking about completely disconnecting from my online life, that’d be crazy!! Baby steps, people! But… I did deactivate my personal Facebook account and haven’t been online as much since doing that. Notice I didn’t say “delete” my Facebook account. Of course I’ll be back again at some point, I think?

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This made me laugh. As much as I love attention, quitting Facebook isn’t really what I’d do to get it, I mean seriously…. I have boobs! Big, round, fake, attention getting boobs. See, have your attention now, don’t I?

The last couple of years I’ve become a bit addicted to Facebook. I’m always on it, even if I’m not interacting.  Not that that really bothers me too much. I thoroughly enjoy the online friendships and it’s a great place to keep in touch with old friends, and family. I’m the type that loves to know all about you, wants to see your kids, your pets, your selfies, and your daily activities….in a non-stalkery sort of way…. yeah, yeah, let’s go with that. I’m also the type that will look in your windows if you leave your curtains open though…in a non-pervy way of course *ahem*.   I suppose this is one of the reasons I enjoy self-portraits so much, it’s an extra glimpse into the lives of others.

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I definitely don’t text and drive, but I have on many occasions closed Facebook on my PC to immediately pick up my phone and check it again, just in case I missed something important, you know….like photos of what everyone is eating for lunch.

Every time I’ve thought about taking a break I’d come up with a couple of reasons why I couldn’t, these were easy excuses for me to use to stay connected.

  1. I’ll lose touch with everyone.
  2. If I deactivate or delete my personal page, my other pages will automatically go inactive as well.

I have a few Facebook pages, including the one attached to this blog that is run by my personal page.  I didn’t want to lose those and couldn’t see how to keep one without the other.

So I posed the question on Facebook asking if anyone knew a way around this, thankfully a few friends did and were able to show me the loophole.  Once I knew how to do it it took me a few days to convince myself that it was for the best.

See, as much as I love seeing all the good that everyone is up to, it also comes with all the bad negative drama as well.  If you have Facebook you know what I’m talking about. *cough, cough* Politics…among other things.

One of the first things I do in the morning is check all of my online accounts, Facebook being one of them. Most mornings I’d checked it just to read the messages I received, but then I’d see my news feed and get sucked in. I would start to scroll through some stuff, skip some other stuff, read some comments, and more comments, and conversations, and before I knew it I’d be over an hour in and extremely annoyed with myself for wasting so much time on reading news I couldn’t give two shits about. Not the best way to start the day, and not the way I wanted to spend any free time I had throughout the afternoons and evenings.

At the moment, I don’t miss it at all!  I still chat with my friends and family, only now it’s on my blogs Facebook page, and instead of my news feed being filled with negativity and dumb fucking Minion memes, seriously with the Minion memes… STOP! It makes zero sense to post a photo of a Minion with a deep and meaningful fucking quote!

Let me indulge a bit on this pet-peeve. Why in the fuck would these quotes need a Minion with them?!!! Grrrrrr…..

This one however…perfectly acceptable!

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Tangent there… what was I saying?

Oh yeah, now I get to log onto my blogs Facebook page, read messages and chat, and only see whatever I post there, no negative BS, not my friends or family bickering, no news reports filled with all the bad stuff going on in this world. In this case….ignorance is a bit blissful.

Of course, I’m still a social media whore….but now I’m a happier one. Nothing better than a happy whore, am I right?

You know where to find me….here at the Blog, Instagram, Twitter, Flickr, G+, Email, Smoke signals, Ouija board, AshleyMadison.com… I’m kidding, just seeing if you’re paying attention!

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

Stick a fork in me….

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Self-Portrait

I’m done!

Done with what exactly? Done trying to pretend I’ll catch up and finish my 52 week photography challenge.  It’s taken everything I have to call it quits, I don’t like giving up, but lately…. I’m drained.  I have so many other things I have to do, and want to do. So in an effort to remove a bit of stress and maintain some sanity, I have to call it.  I still love photography, I just bought a new camera in fact!  For now though, I’ll be taking photos when I feel inspired, and although the themes do spark my creativity,  I’ve found that I’ve been putting off taking some of the images I really want to take and instead focusing on themes because I just don’t have the time to do both.

I already feel like a weight has been lifted by making this decision. 🙂

Anyway….

This image is one I took yesterday. I actually had a really good day, not that this photo portrays that in anyway at all, but I was able to put a big stress in my life to rest (no, I didn’t kill anyone).  My original intent was to take a quick photo because I was in such a good mood and it felt nice to be out of jeans and sneakers for a change. Of course, as I was setting up my camera I kept thinking about how I had to catch up on themes, and how I should be focusing on those, how I didn’t have time to be taking a photo when I have chores to do and kids to take care of, and blah blah blah……  I could feel things weighing on me.  I had been kicking around the idea of quitting the challenge for a while, but that moment and frame of thought solidified it for me.

Today, I focused on chores and kids! Tomorrow, I’m going away for the night with the hubby. I can not wait to sleep naked, and with any luck I’ll be completely taken advantage of.  I can feel the stress melting away already! 😉

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 38

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‘Stranded’ Self-Portrait

The photography theme for week 38 was ‘Lost’.  This was definitely a theme that I could identify with.  In life, I question what I’m doing and where I’m going quite often.

Always stuck between this is exactly where I should be and I should be over ‘there’ doing more. Wherever “there” is. I over-think the fuck out of everything, EVERYTHING!

When I’m lost it’s usually because I’m trapped in my own little mind, searching for some new direction to go in, or waiting for my ship to come in, as if one day I’ll wake up and suddenly be great at everything I feel quite mediocre at.  When in reality I’m not perfect, no one is!

 

What I do know is that I fail quite often, as a mother, wife, photographer, crafter. Yet… my kids are happy, my husband is satisfied (wink, wink), my photography improves constantly, and my crafts sell, so that has to tell me something, right?  Yeah, yeah it does… I’m pretty fucking awesome exactly where I am.  Time to get out of my own head and enjoy the beach I’m on! I was trying to get all metaphoric there, but that sounds kind of cheesy, you know what the fuck I mean though. :p

So glad I had this little pep talk with myself. I needed that.

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

 

 

 

 

 

photography ~Lure~

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‘Lure’ Self-Portrait

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.” ~ Oscar Wilde

This isn’t part of my 52 week challenge, I just wanted to take a photo of my butt, and voila!  Can’t really have a fulfilling Humpday if you don’t put the hump out there, right?

Happy Humpday! 😉

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 36

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“The only bad workout is the one that didn’t happen” Self-portrait

The photography theme for week 36 was ‘Nourish’.

Not only have I been slacking off on keeping up with this photo project, I have also dropped the ball on my workouts.  I was going strong, lifting weights, and working out everyday for over a year.  The last few month however, not so much. I can’t even see my muscles anymore. Waaaaaaaa.  I am slowly trying to get back into in.  I started back up a couple of weeks ago, was doing pretty good until leg day. I couldn’t walk for about a week after, I guess I over did it,  which also meant I couldn’t lift anything until I healed. Getting old sucks!

I still love drinking protein shakes though, I’ve at least been consistent with keeping those in my diet. I’m not a big meat eater (I can think of a ton of sexual jokes to add here), I can never get enough protein in, so I supplement when I can.   Here, I’m drinking a chocolate protein shake, but lately I’ve been sucking down green protein smoothies every day. Yum!

Talking about muscles, meat eating, not being able to walk, and sucking things down kind of put me in the mood for other types of nourishment. Anyone else? No?…just me then. Okay. Off I go to satisfy some other cravings. 😉

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

 

 

 

52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 35

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‘Succubus’ Self-portrait

The photography theme for week 35 was ‘Savor’.

All of my photography can be seen in larger format on Flickr.  I’m also pretty active on Instagram, because it’s easy to use, I like easy, I’m lazy. 😀

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 33

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‘Cure For Lonely’  Self-Portrait

The photography theme for week 33 was ‘From the waist down’.  I decided to go a bit literal.

Have wonderful weekend!

“Type hard, like you mean it!”