NEWS FLASH ~ Guys Like Blowjobs ~ Who Knew?

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Can you believe it? Guys, men, and people with a penis, they all like getting their dicks sucked. I shit you not. Really. The first time I heard this I was shocked, SHOCKED!

Say it isn’t so. Dicks in mouths….WHAT?

You are a guy…..with a dick….and you want it sucked? No Fucking Way?

Seriously guys— EVERYONE ALREADY FUCKING KNOWS THIS!!!

So stop hinting, asking, and making comments about wanting it sucked. Do you really think that this is news? Some big secret? That everyone is an idiot and can’t figure this out on their own?

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Trust me. Your girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, partner, all know that you want your dick sucked. If we want to suck it, we will.

No need for a reminder or hint. If your dick isn’t being sucked, it’s not because your partner doesn’t know you like it. It’s because they don’t feel like sucking it.

I know that has to be hard to swallow.  It does sucks.  These jokes really blow.  Moving on……

Just so you know, we would never have to stop and think:

”Hmmmm…I wonder if he would like his dick sucked?”

“I want to suck it, but what if he’s not in the mood?”

“He only mentioned it 20 times today, so he must not be that serious about me sucking it.”

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Our thoughts are more like:

"Did he shower?"

“Did he shower?”

“What about me? Hello…I have needs too.”

“That thing was in my vagina earlier today, I’m not putting it in my mouth now.”

If your partner does decide to suck your dick due to your relentless, less than subtle hints, they might be thinking:

“Are you almost done, I’m fucking drooling all over the place?”

“If I stop to catch my breath, you’ll get distracted and it will be like starting from the beginning.”

“This is mostly for you, so just cum already.”

“I can’t believe it’s only been 5 minutes, feels like an hour.”

“I’m not going to swallow, so you better warn me.”

”Maybe if I moan more, that will speed things along.”

“Can’t you hear me gagging? WTF!”

“Where is the towel?”

“I’ll just rub your balls and that should do it.”

“Sooo…are you going to pull this out and jerk off on me, or should I grab it?”

“I’m not touching your ass!”

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I could go on an on.

Please consider all of this before you repeatedly inform your obviously ignorant partner that you enjoy having your dick sucked.

My husband never asks me to go down on him. You know why? Because he knows, that I know, that I can suck his dick whenever I want to and he would be good with it. Surprise, surprise!

When I suck dick, it’s because I want to, because I’m into it, and because I want to make him come undone. That is a turn on!

But ask and you shall not receive. When it’s done out of obligation it will not be as good for you.

When your partner willingly gets down on their knees, the thoughts are more like these:

“Yum!”

“I love it when he looks at me like that.”

“I’m going to make him finish.”

“You can cum anywhere you want.”

“I’m awesome.” (that’s what I think anyway. LOL)

To quote Forrest Gump – “That’s all I have to say about that.”

Off to go suck dick, because I’m awesome. Maybe. I don’t know, it’s late. There is always tomorrow, or the day after. Meh… I’m selfish, sooooo… some other time. I’ll just wait for my husband to ask.

“Type hard! Like you mean it.”

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poetry “Pigtails ~A Harley Story”

harley

You can call me Harley

Wont you take me for a drive?

Turn the key, start the engine

Make me come alive

 

Grab on to my handlebars

Turn me nice and slow

Control is in your hands baby

Make this engine blow

 

The road is ahead of you

Open me real wide

For when you reach that tunnel

You’ll be happy you’re inside

 

Make my motor hum

With a turn of the wrist

Rev me baby,  Rev me

Just one more twist

 

Drive baby

Drive

poetry “Fellatio”

lick

 

The way you lick my lips
Biting
Tugging 
Taking sensual nips
 
Pulling at my hips
 
Having the control you need
You grab me
Tease me
Take the lead
 
Do with me as you please
 
Imploring me to taste you
To lick the sweet, dewy bead
 
You bring the dirty to my knees
 
“Open wide” you say
 
“Take it all the way”
 
I give you what you ask for
Never question what you say
 
Vibrating a hum through my mouth
To the tip of my tongue
 
You pull me
Push me
Remove the air from my lungs
 
I move harder
Faster

You come undone