52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 32


‘Red Herring’ Self-Portrait

The photo theme for week 32 was ‘Red’.

Decided to write a little poetry for this one. Enjoy!

‘Red Herring’

“Hungry?” You ask

“Starving” I reply

So famished in fact

I’ll devour every lie

Garnished just so

Seasoned to my taste

Red Herring served cold

Sits beautifully on my plate

A dish you prepare




And me, so hungry

I eat every bite.

~Dye Stormere


“Type hard, like you mean it!”




52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 31


‘Venom’ Self-Portrait

The theme for my week 31 image was ‘Smoke’.

A few things happened this month.  I turned 42 on the 10th, and also this month marks the 10th anniversary of when I quit smoking.  Prior to that I smoked for almost 19 years, if you are good with math you’ll figure out that I started when I was 13 years old, you know…because I was cool.

I’d like to go back and kick my 13 year old ass. Now that I have a 13 year old daughter I find myself doing that thing, you know the thing, the thing that all parents do, try to save your kid from making all the same mistakes you made as an adolescent.

I’d like to think I have a great relationship with my 13 year old, we joke around a lot and have an open line of communication. No topic is off limits.

Most days when she’s leaving the house I give her a hug and add, “I love you, don’t do drugs, drink, smoke, or have sex. Have a great day!”  She rolls her eyes while laughing (in my head she’s laughing, it’s mostly eye rolls), and I giggle just hoping that what I say will stick with her.

I think I’m doing alright though. To take this photo I needed to have smoke. I asked my husband to stop at the store and get me some type of E-cig, or like the cool kids call it ‘vape’, or is it ‘vaper’? Shit, I’m so not cool anymore. My daughter was with with my husband when he went to purchase some, she was worried that this would be my gateway to smoking again.  The fact that she was so disgusted with the idea of smoking brings me some comfort.  For now I’m pretty confident she’s not interested in lighting up, chances are she feels the same way about drugs too.

I’m always preaching about how drugs, drinking, and smoking can mess you up, especially at her age. Now…as for the sex part, I have nothing bad to say about sex. Sex is amazing!!! Just not when you are 13! lol

“Type hard, like you mean it!”

52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 30


‘Morning Ritual’ Self-Portrait

The theme for my week 30 image was ‘Looking in’.  Figured I’d give you a glimpse into my morning ritual.

Any given day this is the typical scene….coffee within arms reach, watching a movie or TV show on the tablet, and doing my makeup.  I like to multitask!

Just so you all know, this photo is for week 30, it is actually week 37 right now. So yes! I’m still behind, no surprise there though, right? Maybe if I spent less time doing my makeup I’d catch up. Priorities!  😀

“Type hard, like you mean it!”


52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 29


‘Frostbitten’ Self-Portrait

The theme for week 29 was ‘Cold’.




“Type hard, like you mean it!”


52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 28


‘My escape plan.’ Self-portrait

The theme for week 28 was ‘Neon’.

I’ve dropped the ball on keeping up with my weekly themes, currently a couple of weeks behind. I’ve been uninspired, distracted, stressed, and avoiding all things ‘life’. However, it has been beautiful weather here, so I’ve at least been escaping into the pool. Can’t complain too much about that.

When I get stressed, or feel like there is too much on my plate to deal with…. I mentally shut down, it’s my life defense mode.  Not the best tactic because it really just puts everything on pause, but when I have hard time focusing on any one thing, I decide to ignore ALL things.  It doesn’t always work, stepping away from everything and everyone is hard to do,  trying to reset and get out of my own head is needed though. Soooo…. that’s what I’ve been up to. Having my own personal pity party, trying to reset!

The fact that I took this photo, uploaded it, and am writing this post…. tells me it’s working though. One thing at a time, right?

I’m not a fan of vague statuses, where people cry about all things wrong in their world without telling you what in the fuck is actually wrong. Those statuses really irk the hell out of me. That being said, I apologize for not sharing all the stressful details of my life right now. It’s okay, you can hate me for that. lol


“Just keep swimming.”

“Type hard, like you mean it!”



52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 27



The theme for this weeks image is ‘nature’.

It has been a rough week around here, sadly my father-in-law suffered a stroke last Friday and passed away a couple of days ago. He was a kind man and served his country well. Retired pilot, Lt Col for the US Air Force.

I’m just going to post a pretty image I took on Independence day and wish you all beautiful evening.

R.I.P. Tom, you will be missed.

“Type hard, like you mean it!”


52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 26


‘Y’all! It’s so shiny!’ Self-portrait

The theme for last weeks photo was ‘Humorous’.

When I was looking around online for some ideas I found a few images that made me smile. The inspiration for my image comes from the caricatures created by ‘McLendon Photography‘. Check them out if you have a second, so well done and creative. Will put a smile on your face, even if you don’t feel like smiling. 🙂

And here’s a little song that seems like a good fit for the photo.


“Type hard, like you mean it!”


52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 25


‘Dear Lord Baby Jesus..make it STAHP!’ Self-Portrait

The theme for last weeks photo was ‘Sign Language’.

I’m a little overdue with this photo as I struggled with the theme. Sometimes inspiration hits out of nowhere… in this case, it was my Instagram DM’s.

For the love of God, people. Stop sending me DM’s and mail telling me how hot I am, as original as that might be (eye-roll), I’m good. There is no reason that needs to be said in a private message. I’m appreciative that you find me attractive, thank you. Feel free to just leave a comment so that everyone can see it. At least boost my ego publicly like a decent pervert! 😀

I know this sounds petty. It could be worse, right? I mean, you could be sending me dick pics… oh wait… you’re doing that too. Sigh! STAHP!

Why? What is your motivation here?

I have yet to see a dick that makes me want to drop my panties and risk losing my family just to find out who is on the other end of it. I know what you’re thinking..”but I could be the one”.. No! Trust me, you are not the one.  Your dick could shoot out magic rainbows with hundred dollar bill confetti and I still wouldn’t want to…. um, okay…yes, I’d want to see that, but that’s the exception.

If after reading this you still want to send me photos, at least read up on my dick pic requirements. Here is a little something I wrote last year, still relevant today. Enjoy!

Only send photos of your junk if…



“Type hard, like you mean it!”



52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 24


‘Mustang’ Self-Portrait


The theme for this weeks photo is ‘window’.

After I post a photo on social media I’ll occasionally have someone ask me what the original photo looked like, or what I did, or didn’t add in Photoshop. Last weeks photo for example prompted some questions from a few people. So I figured I’d share some behind-the-scenes (BTS) from this weeks image and from last weeks image.  Sometimes I do a ton of Photoshop work, other time I keep it simple. Personally, I love when people share anything from BTS, I learn a lot that way.

Here is this weeks:



Testing the light in my basement… that’s my stand-in so that I can get my focus right. Used one strobe light in back, pointing towards it.


BEFORE…..Straight out of camera (SOOC), more often than not I have to remove nipples. lol


AFTER….Some minor Photoshop work and a few filters added.

Here are a few from last week. Mostly to show the small space, because that was what everyone asked about.


Standard ceiling height, window to the left and the right.


Test shot for lighting. Nothing fancy, was too lazy to set up strobes. Kept the over head light on and put my flash on the camera to soften shadows, bounced it off the ceiling. Good enough.


Making sure I was in focus.




AFTER….Faux wall and some touch-ups.


…and there you go. I don’t have many blank walls to shoot against, so I have to get creative.


“Type hard, like you mean it!”


52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 23


‘Zen’ Self-Portrait

The theme for this weeks photo is ‘Minimalism’.

I’ve heard that doing yoga, and meditation, can enhance your sex life. Now, I’m not sure if that’s because you become more in tune with yourself, or if it’s because you get into all those sexy poses, either way….it’s worth a try. Let me know if I’m doing it right.


I am feeling a bit more in tune with myself. For example, I now know that I have zero flexibility.  I also have no doubt that once my hubby sees me in these super sexy poses he will be all over me. Rawr!

I think it’s working.

bow chicka wow wow’….

‘brown chicken brown cow’…

“Type hard, like you mean it”


52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 22


“Shut up and dance with me!” Self-Portrait

The theme for this weeks photo is ‘Sound’.

It’s Friday, so I decided to dance around like a fool in celebration. What about the weekend am I celebrating you ask? Oh, you didn’t ask. That’s okay, because I really don’t celebrate the weekends anyways. It was a lie, all lies!!!

I’m a mom, I don’t get weekends you silly dork!

I do like to dance around the house in the morning when everyone is asleep though. I  celebrate the silence, because silence is golden, like a nice warm golden shower. Um…erm anyways… that got awkward, but hey, speaking of being pee’d on. Don’t do it! Stop it!

No, I really don’t care if you’re into that, unless you are randomly peeing on people that are not into it, that just makes you a douche. Don’t be a douche. Although a douche would be better than pee.

Oh dear, sometimes I should plan out what I’m going to say before I start typing.


…and no, jelly fish stings are not an exception, just a myth. So stop looking for excuses to pee on people! Geez! :p

If anything, we learned:

I don’t celebrate the weekends.

I don’t want to be pee’d on.

I’d rather be douched?

Only pee on people that consent to it.

Jelly fish stings are not the exception.

Not having a plan, keeps it real!


Now come on, SHUT UP AND DANCE with me!


“Type hard, like you mean it!”





52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 21


“all the beauty of life is made up of light and shadow” ~ Leo Tolstoy ….. Self-Portrait…

The theme for this weeks photo is ‘Shadows (with a black & white edit)’.

I wish I had something clever to post with this image, but I don’t.  It took me longer to find a title/quote than it did to edit it. I’m still not happy with what I found for it either, but it will do. I really just wanted to title it ‘Spotted Dick.’ That’s the first thing that came to my mind, but I wanted to stay classy (for a change). After I thought of that title, I Googled it to see what it was exactly, ‘Spotted Dick’ is a pudding. I always assumed it was some sort of meat substance, like Spam. Either way, it doesn’t sound appetizing, but yes, I want to eat it, for the sole purpose of saying…. I ate ‘Spotted Dick’. Because you really should try dick as often as possible.

I’ll just apologize now for wasting your time on this post. If you don’t like it though, you know what you can go do?…. Eat a dick! I mean that in the most loving, non-sweary, try new cuisine way. 😀

“Type hard, like you mean it!”


52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 17


“My mind wanders and I get lost in thoughts of you.” Self-Portrait

The theme for this weeks photo is ‘Mirrored’.

I’ve had this idea in my head for a few days now. I love getting lost in thought. I do that often. Close my eyes and daydream, remembering moments, and fantasizing about new ones. Imagination is a wonderful thing.

I’ve gotta say, it’s difficult trying to keep a straight face when my husband is groping my boobs and trying to make me laugh. That….and having a boner resting against my back side. It happens. The things I have to suffer through for my art. No, no… don’t feel bad for me, I asked for it…over and over again. 😀


I love going through the photos after I take them and finding stuff like this. lol

“Type hard, like you mean it!”


52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 16


Cravings ~ Self-Portrait

The theme for this weeks photo is ‘Leading Lines’.

I like all the angles and how there are many lines created from the windows, curtains, bed, and sheets. What I don’t like is that the corner of my room isn’t centered between those two windows, it throws it off. Granted, that window on the right side is centered on the wall it is on, and the window on the left side is balanced out with another window on the wall that it is on. I suppose it would bother me if they weren’t balanced there, even if that meant the corner lined up behind the bed. Hmmmm…. Maybe it’s OCD? Maybe I need a square room instead of a rectangle one, maybe with no windows….and padded walls, because I’m clearly going fucking crazy. :p

“Type hard. Like you mean it!”


52 Weeks Of Photos ~2016~ Week 13


The Keyhole ~ (Self-Portrait)

At the beginning of the year I decided to take on a photo project for 2016. It’s 52 weeks of photos, that’s one image per week….in case you’re bad with math.  The group I’m a part of supplies the ‘theme’ for every week,  each photographer can interpret it however they see fit. This weeks theme is ‘Focal Point’.

I’d like to say that I took this self-portrait through the actual keyhole, I can’t though. I didn’t have enough room, also… I was too lazy, and too impatient to come up with a backup plan to make it work. Truth! I’m lazy, and all for shortcuts. So this is two shots that I took and merged together in Photoshop.  I think what I love most about this shot and idea is that I didn’t have to clean any part of my room to take it. You can’t see the unmade bed, the clothes I just took off bunched up behind me,  piles of laundry, kids toys etc. Don’t you love how I can take a sexy photo and ruin it with the truth? lol

You can check out all of my photography on Flickr, including all the images for this project as well as other images I took just because I felt like it.

I’m happy to say that I did complete my 52 week project for 2015. Unfortunately, I didn’t keep up with posting them all here on the blog.  Unlike how this year will be, those were all self-portraits. If you want to check those images out, you can see them all in this Flickr album.

“Type hard, like you mean it!”